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Is is normal to feel mixed feelings on Mother's Day if you are a birth mom?

Didn't feel this way last year but feeling this way this year. I am really confused and need some insite :(

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Asked by SLTaurus87 at 1:10 AM on May. 8, 2011 in Adoption

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • If you're the BM and at the time you couldn't have what it takes to raise a child. I think that action is very motherly and loving in itself to give a child to a family who could provide what the child needs for the child. I hope you can cheer up, GB!!

    Answer by amberpatterson at 1:14 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • I have mixed feelings because my mom disowned me about 15 yrs. ago. I feel jealous sometimes when I hear of others spending time with their moms but I don't have a mom to celebrate with. Don't get me wrong, my kids and husband are awesome to me on Mothers day but it doesn't take the place of mom. So I think it's more normal than we think. *Happy Mothers Day* :)

    Answer by Kathy675 at 1:16 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • A BM is a bowel movement. No offense, it's just such a crappy abbreviation for such a heavy title.

    Why don't you join the birthmom's group on CM and share about it! They are really good listeners, and you would probably relate to them a lot.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:19 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • I am already in the group and I have a post up. I made it before I made my question.

    Comment by SLTaurus87 (original poster) at 1:27 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • stepson's biomom fits the BM title thru and thru...thank GOD we have full sole custody and she has no rights

    Answer by shivasgirl at 1:58 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • Kathy I know how you feel, my BM left me and my late brother 20 years ago. My Grandmother and Grandfather raised me. They did their best, but I have always missed my BM. My Grandparents have both passed on now and Mothers day is a real down day for me. My husband and kids are great but it's not the same.

    SL you have every right to have mixed feelings. Keep your head up and try to give yourself a break.

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 2:44 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • I am trying but it is hard as I am not sure if I should celebrate being a mom as I am not the one raising him

    Comment by SLTaurus87 (original poster) at 3:02 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • quote: " stepson's biomom fits the BM title thru and thru"

    Guess that makes your son a little Turd! see how that works? :(

    Answer by adopteeme at 6:33 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • shiviasgirl, no matter what your opinion is of that childs mother, that will always be that childs mother. For the child's sake it needs to be respected. That's just crappy to call a childs parent such a name. That child is a product of them.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 2:21 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • yes it is very normal for a mother that gave her child up for adoption to have a hard time on mother's day. Actually it is the single most day that is hardest for a birh mother. Some mothers feel like they have no right to feel like a mother. After all, they havn't changed diapers, hugged their children while they cry or sang them to sleep. The rub is, most birth mother would give their eye teeth to have been able to do so. (unlike the popular image that birth mother couldn't be bothered to do so and that's why they gave thier chilren up)
    Mothers Day is heartbreaking.

    Answer by onethentwins at 1:19 AM on May. 9, 2011

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