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Having trouble with sixteen year old daughter

I just found out that my daughter hates me and her family and wishes we were dead. I know this is somewhat of what goes on at this age. Her cousin called my in a panic this evening and said my daughter has a serious problem and she had some guy drop her off and she was at a school she didn't know. I knew where she was and who she was with. They had obviously played a game with her cousin (the same age by the way). It wasn't acceptable but what input do you moms have with this experience and should I look into the 72 hour lockdown?

Answer Question
 
samif

Asked by samif at 2:30 AM on May. 8, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (59 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I must be missing something. I understand her anger and hatred (yep it goes with her age) but what part of this would require 72 hr lockdown?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:34 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • ? Missing something. Said she had some guy drop her off where and what was the problem? I assume she played a joke on her cousin and said she needed help because a guy abandoned her somewhere ?
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 2:44 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • The reason for the lockdown is because she has threatened to kill herself, hoping for us to die and has been depressed for a long time. I know because she has a friend I spoke to. She won't talk to anyone and I'm thinking that if the police get involoved then she will be forced to talk to a therapist and maybe ongoing thereapy. I have told her to talk to someone and she says that if she goes she will not talk.
    samif

    Comment by samif (original poster) at 2:48 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • Therapy would be good.

    But you should start by assessing yourself. Why does she hate you? What have you done to upset her so much? Think hard because a lot of parent miss the fact that they can be fucked up scumbags too. I was 16 not that long ago.

    If you cant think of anything, ask her. If she doesn't talk, wait a few days. Slowly start bonding with her, take her places, shop with her, and be more lenient with her.

    Keep in mind that she might be doing drugs as well..if she is..whoop her ass and send her to bording school.
    xmama_bellax

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 7:45 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • I do not understand all of what you said. I am confused on the part about the cousin. I don't think that a 72 hour lock down will solve problems but I also do not know what it entails. I would think that maybe family counseling might be helpful. I do think that there is a normal amount of "I hate you" when kids are teens but I think if she is very angry and seems to hate everyone all the time, maybe it is times to try to get to the bottom of it.

    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 7:46 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • It sounds as though she needs some help, if she's threatened suicide or talked about how miserable she is, she needs help. Even if it may have been an idle threat for attention in some fashion or simply a moment of hostility and/or sadness - it should never be taken lightly. When my nephew did this, he was immediately taken to the hospital for lockdown, was it extreme? Maybe. However she needs someone to talk to her, if she isn't talking to you. The next thing I would is really evaluate yourself, what are you doing that is building up so much anger. I have to be honest the biggest thing I've seen is parents trying to control too much and not really "listening" to what our children are saying. I'm not saying you're doing this, I'm saying it could be her perspetion. It's time to sit with her and talk about what would help her, you have to evaluate whats possible as a parent. First step, get her someone to talk too.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:28 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • Just because she goes on a 72 hour hold, doesn't mean she'll talk and if she does talk, she'll probably do like most kids do and say what a therapist wants to hear and have you looking like you're the one that lost your mind....you know there has been a problem with your daughter a long time ago, why is it so crucial to get her the help now, instead of in the past? You do realize that the longer you wait, the harder it will be for her to accept the fact that somethings wrong with herself, right?
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:18 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Good Luck
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 11:01 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I am a bit confused.... i would talk to her and try to get her to share with you.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 12:48 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Hang in there mama. Some teens are a nightmare. If my teen was threatening suicide I would totally lock her up. You don't want to ignore that kind of threat and you can't force someone to talk.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 6:37 PM on May. 14, 2011

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