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Am I too paranoid?

My husband is hanging out an awfully lot with this other woman. He'll call her up about 2-3 times a week wondering what she is doing later on that night and then go out with her. The way he looks at her, the tone in his voice when he is talking to her, just everything is pointing out to me that he is attracted to her. I've confronted him about my feelings towards this whole thing, and he just keeps saying I'm crazy and it's all in my head. "We're just friends. She's cool to hang out with." he says. I wouldn't mind him hanging out with her. But it's becoming more & more frequent. Is he disrespecting me right to my face?? Am I just being immature?? He's out with her right now as I am typing this. Called her up right after I pissed him off about one small little thing.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:48 AM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think you have a problem. I would, in a very non-accusing way, say something like "you know, from what you say, she does seem like a really cool person to know. I would love to get to know her better - how about I come with you next time? See what he says... If he's ok with it, but still acting this way towards her, then you have a problem with the way his feelings might be developing towards her, or, you might find they are just friends. If he gets all upset or freaks out or whatever about it, then your problem has reached a whole new level...

    Good luck!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:00 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • If he truly just wanted to be friends and hang out with her, then he'd include you. I agree with the PP, trust your intuition. I'd talk to the girl and see if they are "just friends".
    Kimebs

    Answer by Kimebs at 5:51 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • So is he out after 4am as your post time suggests? This is not cool nor appropriate or a married man. If he knew this woman prior to you I would say a once in awhile get together may be ok (like childhood neighbor friends--something on that level), but this seems dubious. I think you know what's going on deep down.  This would not fly in my marriage and it does not matter if you did piss him off. That point makes him sound passive agressive, and I would really start checking all of this out, and then think about some decision making for the near future. 

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 6:38 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • If it looks acts, smells and quacks like a duck, chances are it's a duck. No way is my hubby hanging out with a woman with or without me sitting at home. Some women are okay with their bf/dh having girl-friends but not me. If he's looking at her like he's hot for her, and he's telling you to your face that she's cool and fun to hang out with..... either learn to share him in ever way or start packing his or your things and retain the lawyer because it's headed for trouble unless you're willing to share him more than what you already know you are.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:09 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • IMO I don't think your too paranoid. I would think your too naive. This is touble and disrespectful on so many levels. I can't even imagine. My blood is boiling just thinking about it. I would tend to think he is not "just friends" with this woman. Nip this in the bud. find out what is really going on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I agree with the other ladies. There is something strange about this situation. I dont think your too paranoid at all. I would have never let him out of the house with her to begin with. So I must be really paranoid. But I would get to the bottom of this before it goes any furter. Sorry you are in this situation and I hope things work out well for you. Good luck!
    YoungMomtoGirls

    Answer by YoungMomtoGirls at 9:33 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • He is with another woman at this hour of the morning that you posted? & he is your husband? Oh, hell no !!! What you think they are doing at this hour of the am? Sorry, but I would not for a minute stand for it. By the way I am also a single mom. When a man does not act like a decent man should, I have very little understanding for their crude ways of rationalizing things just so they can have their way. I don't put up with a lot of anything that is disrespectful. That is why I am divorced & happier than I have ever been. Life is too short to put up with a jerk-offs self indulged behaviors.

    strongmom40

    Answer by strongmom40 at 10:42 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • WRONG! He should be wanting and making an effort to hang out with YOU, his WIFE. Seriously the next time he leaves with her just get your things and leave, tell him your not coming back because you don't like being shared! Show him that you won't tolerate it because he thinks you will and that he can get away with it. He's playing you for a sucker and yes sorry honey but it's stupid to stay. He's doing this right in front of your face. Just walk out and leave..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Well, he was out with her when I posted that question. It was really 12:30. I don't know why it came up different on your guys computers. ??? He has invited me ONCE to hang out with them. But if ya ask me. She seemed be a little uncomfortable around me. Hardly ever even talked to me....but THEY would be chattin up a storm when I would go to the bathroom! Agghh!!!! He tells me that he loves me and would do anything for me. But when it comes the bigger stuff, he completely brushes me off and go ahead and does it. He was all lovey dovey when he came home last night though! surprise-surprise...;/
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • While reading your post I had red flags going up. I'm sorry but this is just not right. If he wants to go hang out, he should be hanging out with you! I am so "territorial" when it comes to my DH, this is really unacceptable to me. He'd have to make a choice: me or her. Even if they are just friends, it's inappropriate. Don't go to him mousy, don't let him dismiss your concerns. I don't really like ultimatums, but with something like this you have to let him know it's you are her. And stick to it.

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:13 PM on Dec. 5, 2008