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A girlfriend and I were talking about this yesterday. Does anyone else feel incredibly uncomfortable going to parties at school because other parents don't seem to want to talk to you? I thought it was just me until my friend told me she feels the same way. How about you guys?

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Kellybreece

Asked by Kellybreece at 7:30 AM on Dec. 5, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (15)
  • Perhaps the parents aren't focused on talking with other parents as much as soaking up what their children are doing all day?
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:32 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I used to feel that way when I was a younger mom. Then I finally just made friends with a few of them by going up and talking to them. Ecspecially the ones who shared classes with my kids since we had that in common. I made some of my best friends that way. Maybe you can try talking to them first? Youd be surprised many feel the same as you do and will be open to being friends and talking to you.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:50 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Yes! Thats very common. I do try to reach out to them because really what looks like them being snobby is nothing more than shyness and insecurity. Once I do that, it warms them up to me and lets them know that I am nice and easy to talk to. Just don't assume they don't want to talk to you. Make the first move. I live in a very snobby elitest community and at first I thought because I was new they didn't want to talk to me, but I found that they really do. I have made lots of friends. THere is a clique of parents around here who grew up here and they have a hard time letting others in, but thats just a small percentage...Most of the parents, if they can act like an adult, are very nice. They just need someone to make the first move.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:52 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Ugh...I have that problem. My kids' school are very clique-ish. The same mothers that are at the parties and stuff are the ones that (like me) can afford to be SAHMs. But, they also live in the same neighborhoods and attend the same church and their kids are in all the same karate/dance classes and all play sports together. Plus, I live in the south and so they are all conservative Republicans and I am an atheist, liberal Democrat and they know all know it so they are afraid of me...LOL!
    mizkaye

    Answer by mizkaye at 9:39 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I am a 49 yr. old grandmother with custody of my almost 6yr. old granddaughter in kindergarten. Talk about feeling out of place but I make it a point to speak to everyone and try to talk to them. If they don't seem interested then I just hush my mouth because I've already been there, done that 2 times before. Who knows I could be your best friend so don't shut me out because I am older. I could be wiser and it could be your loss. LOL That's how I perceive them any way.
    HappyMawmaw

    Answer by HappyMawmaw at 9:52 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I do believe that parents can appear this way. We have it at our school, I think the key is to talk to the parents of you child's friends. We started a grade get together, Once a month we pick a grade and we have a special night just for that grade.

    It is a great way to meet parents and see who the kids are that you child is talking about. We did this mainly so parents could interact and get to know each other. This way when you are at an event you at least have some parents to talk to.

    I would also try going to a PTO meeting. Sometimes it is just one group of parents that is this way and not everyone.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 11:37 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • HappyMawmaw I know exactly what you mean... I am a 45 yr old grandma with custody of her gs and it's so funny to go into the school and see or hear what you/we have already been throu ..
    I don't make it a point to meet others... not that I am not friendly, but it has always been me... but the minute my gs says " hey grandma" then people come up to me... lol... saying they can't believe that I am a grandmother and even fall over when I say 6x's over I am...LOL... I have made some friends that way....

    for the op try going to your PTO meetings. Our local libary has craft and story days, if you have something similar try that too... sports is anther way...

    Good Luck
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 12:33 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Maybe those parents think you don't want to talk to them? I am the class room mom and am very shy. I took the job so I could meet the other parents and force myself to get out of my shell. It is hard but all but two moms are very nice in my sons class.  I have 4 friends in the class now we have lunch and shop together.   I was the type to sit back and think no one wants to talk to me. My husband video taped me at a social gathering without my knowledge so I could see what I was projecting. It was really bad. I would not have gone up to me and talked to me. I looked very grumpy and unfriendly. I am not that way but I was insecure and still struggle with it and to others it just seem like I am a bitch. So now I force myself to be friendly and understand not everyone will like me. If I don't put myself out there and be a friend no one will like me.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Even though I am not really a social person, I always try to say hi and do some quick "chit-chat" just to be friendly.

    I think if you feel like no one is talking to you, try to just say hi, or make a funny comment about the party etc..to someone. Maybe they will open up. They might feel like everyone is avoiding them too.

    I figure if I try to smile if anyone looks my way or be polite then at least I gave it an effort.

    Hope that helps.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • for me I see parents some quiet and stand off... I was lucky to meet to couple Mom's doing art in the class room and now the carnival.
    claras_mommie

    Answer by claras_mommie at 9:15 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

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