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So my husband left today, happy freakin mother's day to me?

yep that's right. i gave him an ultimatum: either quit buying marijuana or leave. simple decision, really. he chose the latter though and is staying at his mom's for a few days. i would like to make it known that im not against marijuana, but i am against it when my husband is buying it every two days with money we don't have, sneaking behind my back to buy it, lying about it, etc. he just got laid off and he's on unemployment and we just got on foodstamps, i did not want to be "that type" of family. besides, he uses it as his "happy drug" because he has anger problems and can't seem to be a good father unless he's high. he refuses to go and get real help and put on real medicine. if he's not high he's a real jerk or he hides from us all day. so either way it's a lose-lose situation. i am not willing to bend on this especially because he's on probation. i have been telling him for months to stop and its always "the last time". now the realization is hitting me that i might wind up being a single mom of 3. i haven't told my parents yet, infact my mom just called to see how the rest of my day was and i didn't have the heart to tell her that it was ruined in another financial battle and he left. im also afraid if i tell her about his illegal habits than if he does agree to some counseling and stops, they will always look down on him and judge him. im just a ball of emotions right now. i feel good that i stood my ground but i wish he had made the right choice. whoever this guy is is not the guy i married.

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 5:25 PM on May. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Oh no...I'm so sorry. I've been where you are and I know just how frustrating this is for you. My ex would borrow money from his family telling them that I refused to give him lunch money , then later they would come to me to be paid back. His mother never believed he was buying weed with the money, she believed I took his paycheck away. I always made his lunch anyway. His paycheck was spent on anything he wanted because he never gave it too me to even be able to take away...and my parents ended up paying most of our bills. I protected him by not telling other people the truth...and that became a trap for me. It took me 26 years to finally end things...and only because he left first when I became ill and he didn't want to take care of me. My adult kids told me that having him for a father was like being fatherless...he could not be nice unless he was high. Your h puts weed before anything... get out now while you are young.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 5:42 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Yes happy mothers day to you.... Look at it this way...... You are doing the best thing for you and your kids. Thats a pretty awesom mom to me.

    But I am sorry that you are going through this.
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 5:31 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • *Hugs*
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 5:27 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • hugs


     

    wendydays

    Answer by wendydays at 5:28 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • sorry about your mothers day being ruined..but i have a friend that sounds just like your dh..he is a real ass when he does not have his happy sac..its almost as if he cant function in life without it..its a real shame for him to be that way..i sat down with him one day and told he that hes a real big ass and that his girlfriend or his son didnt deserve to be treated the way he was treating them when he didnt have his sac..i must of really hurt his feelings which were my intentions..because he hasnt smoked since then that im aware of and she hasnst called me upset..i can totally understand you making an ultimatum..stay strong and i hope things work out for your family
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Hugs
    kathy067j

    Answer by kathy067j at 5:35 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • good for you , telling him that , i would do the same no matter what day , when its in ya to give a ultimatum do it.
    you are in the right
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 5:51 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • I am so sorry. I would do the same thing---give him an ultimatum. He needs some help . But he will only get it if he realizes that he needs it and decides you and the family are more important than pot---he is self-medicating and that's bad. Good luck...


    hugs

    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 11:03 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • *awesome
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 5:32 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • thank you anon and above posters. if it were a once in a while thing i would be okay with it. but he goes through a $20 sack in 2 days and we do NOT have that kind of money. he takes it from his gas budget, and when that's all out he wants to take it from our necessities budget. he truly does not grasp that he has a real problem with it. i have put up with the bullshit for so long, and im tired of him spending money on useless shit when it could go toward something much more useful. im so sad and hurt and angry, ive been crying so much i feel like i have chlorine eyes.. lol
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 5:32 PM on May. 8, 2011

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