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Who is the parent?

I have a 1 year old and i am a stay at home mom my boyfriend (the father) works a 40 hour work week Mon- Fri. Is it wrong of me to ask for help with the baby? He rarely changes diapers, almost never feeds him, never gives him a bath unless i'm gone, I feel like i'm a single parent with him just hanging around to give me money. I feel like he owes me help with the baby at least on weekends but even in the afternoon when he gets home his job is really not that hard and he says so himself so why is it that i take the brunt of OUR parenting duties? What should i do?

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Asked by DragoFly at 7:52 AM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You need to explain to him you understand he works 40 hours a wk outside the home, but you work 24/7 inside the home and dont get breaks. Ask him to please pitch in with feedings or laundry or something so you can get some sort of a break. Alot of times men dont understand until you put it to them in that light. My dh watches our kids, and even on occasion does laundry and cooks. I usually ask for about 30 minutes a day of alone time. Meaning I want that time to myself to go get a cup of coffee, tan or get my hair done or just drive around. See if sitting down with him and explaining that doesnt help.

    Answer by gemgem at 7:56 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I did all of that stuff with my kids. My hubby will fix them something to eat if they ask, get a drink (mine are 8 and 3). My hubby didn't do it because he wasn't confident in some areas, was uncomfortable in others. My hubby didn't keep my kids while I went grocery shopping etc but would if I was for a few minutes he would

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:58 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • My hubby works 50 hrs a week and will still come home and help with the kids and I don't have to ask. Try to have a nice talk with him and let him know how you feel.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Communicate!...Thats they key here. I have my things that I do, hubby has his work, but the kids are joint responsibility. They were not created by one person. I think I would sit down with him, in love and let him know that his child needs his time and attention. You need a break too and then make sure you and him are getting time together as well. Kids are a joint effort. IN my house, I do morning routine and dad does night routine. Whenever something needs tobe done, we jump in there do it and we don't keep record of who did what....we just get it done. Have a heart to heart with him.

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:36 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Tell him how much bonding he is missing out on with his son. It is about he & his son having a relationship that is close. Ask him what he would do if he woke up in the morning & for some reason you were no longer around. If he is distant with his son when it comes to daily things, that is the role model of being a man that he is teaching his son to be. His son will also learn NOT to come to his father in times of need. Boys grow up to be the life experiences they live as a child 9 times out of 10. Good luck !!


    Answer by strongmom40 at 10:14 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

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