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2 Bumps

Need an outsiders opinion

Dh says I am always negative and griping and that's y he is always in a bad mood.well I need opinions on what you think
Our biggest problem is money. He makes 10.50 hour. It's just flat out not enough. I stay home but have offered to go to work because I am so tiredof not being able to afford food or diapers. We fight over Monet constantly. We never go out because we have no money. We have no luxuries other than cell phones because he has to have it for work. I hate it!!!! I have a degre and could probably make 2200 atleast a month but he is stuck onme staying athome and I really don't want to put my 7 month old in daycare either but at the same time I want the best for my kids.

I have 2 kids a 3 year old and 7 month old

Dh has one year left of college but doesn't want to go back and gets mad if I mention it

So is it wrong of me to not be content living hand to mouth? I want to buy not rent a house one day. I want my kids to be able to have things and I just cannot see how I am wrong. Thank you

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on May. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • i don't blame you for wanting more. well at least he is working because i have seen women on here complaining that their man refuses to work. on the other hand he SHOULD have a plan to either go back to school or get a higher paying job, in this economy his paycheck won't cut it. I also think that you guys should have held off on having the kids until both of you were more financially secure.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 7:23 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • I think that if you aren't willing to just put your foot down and tell him "I'm going back to work" that you should find a way to make what you have work. There is no reason to fight about money, fighting about it isn't going to make it appear. Honestly, if you can't afford to live now, you won't be able too once you go to work either. You have to learn how to budget and live within your means. If you can't afford to go out, then you can't. It's part of life and it's part of being an adult. As long as your children have a roof over their head, food in their mouths, and clothes on their backs you are a lot farther ahead than some. I don't feel it's about right and wrong, you should compromise... you get a job when he's home so you don't have to get daycare.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 7:25 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • It sounds like communication is the heart of the problem. Does he not want you to work? I hate to say t but he may be using the lack of funds to be in control. I could be totoally off-base but his unwillingness to talk about solutions seems abusive. If its just a pride thing then he needs to suck it up. What does his family say? Do they have any influence? Your post left me with lots of questions:)
    kjjones91

    Answer by kjjones91 at 7:26 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Do what you think is right. If you need to go to work . Do it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:27 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Would you be able to work from home? Maybe he would be more apt to agree to that?
    tspillane

    Answer by tspillane at 7:28 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • He's an idiot!! If you want to work DO IT!! Why waist a degree! There is NO reason why you both can't contribute to the household, especially if it will let you give you & your kids the things you need!! This is not the dark ages, women are allowed out of the house too!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 7:31 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Maybe you could keep kids in your home? That would bring in a little extra money..then wait a few months to talk to him about going back to school.
    nsrush83

    Answer by nsrush83 at 7:36 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Ignore him and go back to work
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 7:37 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • stop griping and try to be happy with what you do have. My DH and I have had it rough. Maybe your spending money on things not essential. Yes, I wore the same wardrobe for 5 years and only bought more clothes at a thrift store as they wore out. We went without TV for 4 years, it is not really needful. Maybe you live in a place where costs are higher but we survived on 8 dollars an hour with 3 kids for over a year. We never went out unless his parents bought.

    If you harp on the money all the time maybe you could try him being a SAHD and you working. I'm not trying to be negative but it really sounds like you probably nag about the money issue and he's having a problem with feeling inadequate.
    Audrice1985

    Answer by Audrice1985 at 8:42 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Girl! I do not blame you, who wants to live like that! He needs to get over his self and find a higher paying job or let you get one. I know going against him will cause tension in your marriage but that's exactly what's going on anyway! At least with you working you can buy a new top every now in then to make you feel better! @audrice1985 I'm not sure how you did it, but would you really recommend that kind of life for someone else? "Never go out unless his parents paid", seriously!!!
    Ttcbabyclegg

    Answer by Ttcbabyclegg at 10:25 PM on May. 8, 2011

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