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What's the one thing you feel most guilty about as a mother?

When my son was first born, I was *dedicated* to breastfeeding, but I had overactive letdown, and after two months of explosive diapers, expressing breastmilk constantly, having him feed round the clock every three hours, I started to use formula. I felt so guilty about this at the time. I cried and cried! I cried into my shrimp scampi at a Christmas Eve dinner, people!

Years later, he's 8 now, I don't feel it so much. In fact, I don't feel guilty about much.

Is there anything that you feel guilty about as a mother? Do you think you should or shouldn't and why not?


Asked by dwmom2008 at 8:16 PM on May. 8, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (10)
  • When I found out was preggers I was on a narcotic for a neuro/muscular disorder that was very painful. I immediately stopped the meds and went into withdrawals. It was so hard but I know how much harder it would be on my baby. I went to the pain Dr and he informed me that the withdrawals of this certain narcotic would surely make me miscarry. I had no choice I had to stay on a lower dose of narcotic all through my pregnancy. My baby boy was born struggling with withdrawals. I will never forget the look on the NICU nurses face. She thought I was heroin addict because of the type of drug I was on.....I have never felt judgement like that. 

    I dont feel as guilty as I did.But it is a memory that goes along with all the others of the day I had my boy.


    Answer by Ihatelaundry at 6:03 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I also feel bad spending money on myself. I mean ANYTHING for myself. I have to have a crown put on one of my teeth tomorrow and I feel guilty about that b/c that is $500 that have could be spent on something else.

    Answer by mommy2aftan at 8:32 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • I feel guilty when I go to spend money on myself.. but that doesn't last too long. But I have done the best job I can being a mother and for that I don't feel guilty.

    Answer by Finkette at 8:20 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • i felt the same way when i gave up breastfeeding my 3rd. it didn't work out with my 1st and i didn't even try with my 2nd, so when i had my 3rd i knew i really want to try and succeed this time. i did great for about 2 weeks, despite the pain from me not being able to get her to latch correctly. but i didn't have sufficient support around me, and eventually just stopped. i too felt so guilty that i sobbed for days. well, she's 16 months now and completely fine! the guilt has worn off now.

    Answer by tnm786 at 8:20 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Wanting alone time. It's hard to be okay with that, because time is such a commodity.
    Same with study time. I SHOULDN'T feel guilty for needing time to study, but my doing well in school is vital for our family!

    Answer by musicpisces at 8:20 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • any time i spend money on myself i hate it. I either end up talking myself out of gettin myself something or i end up returning it. Ive had this feeling since i had my 1st baby. I dont think ill get over it. I could buy them each something and myself but in the end ill always get the money back and spend it on them

    Answer by chrstny88 at 8:28 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • I feel guilty when DH and my schedules are so busy we have a hard time accommodating DD's routine.

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 12:43 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Not being a SAHM and not nursing correctly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I feel a little guilty that my kids had to grow up without a 'dad'. I had boyfriends on and off, but there was never anyone around to take them fishing or play catch with or do other dad-type things. I shouldn't feel guilty, because it's really not my fault their biological father turned out to be a giant jerkface and I did the best I could under the circumstances, but I know having a "dad" would have made things much easier for them, especially my son.

    Answer by lytate95 at 8:20 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Never feel guilty for taking care of yourself! Remember, you have to put on your own oxygen mask first.. That is one lesson that I learned the hard way. Don't burn out. As for taking care of your physical health, do it as soon as you have a problem. Honey, that $500 is the best spent money that there is! You are the Queen Mother, when she is not happy, no one will be happy! Great answers ladies!

    Comment by dwmom2008 (original poster) at 8:38 PM on May. 8, 2011