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My tween DOES NOT get along with her cousin. What do I do?

She says and i quote, that her cousin acts like an angel to get what she wants, to make her jealous. But when she gets it, she brags about it, end qoute. She also said that her cousin steals her mentors and friends. What do I do?

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sweetness61

Asked by sweetness61 at 8:44 PM on May. 8, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Keep them separated. Most likely your DD is telling the truth.
    Audrice1985

    Answer by Audrice1985 at 8:51 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • I would sit them both down, with cousins parents. Just reinforce the importance of family and treating each other well and not competeing or hurting each other's feelings.

    Beyond that, they just may not have personalities that get along well.

    Good luck
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 8:52 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • I never got along with one of my female cousins when we were younger. Now the we are both moms we get along fine. I would just leave it alone and let them work it out when and if they can.
    Octobersmom

    Answer by Octobersmom at 8:56 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Just because you're family doesn't mean that you have to like each other! Don't force a friendship between your daughter and someone she obviously has reason to dislike...
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 9:46 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • sounds like they need a break from each other as much as reasonably possible..... at least to ease the tension temporarily!
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 1:23 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • By all means - don't make your daughter *have* to be around her cousin. The cousin sounds like someone I know - she never changed and to this day is a 45 year old woman who still acts like your daughter says her cousin is acting. Some people are not good people - and they probably started showing they were "not good people" when they were still a kid. There's no reason that I can see for your daughter to have to have a relationship with someone who would treat her like that. Bless her baby heart - and yours too. That's just awful that you all are having to go through this.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 2:25 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I believe in the fundamental, she does not have to like her, but love her. That is her family. This also an opportunity of teaching her how to deal with individuals in a diplomatic way. The older she gets she will encounter people like that and she needs to be able to know how to deal with them.
    qubanprincess

    Answer by qubanprincess at 2:35 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Don't force her to be around her cousin. Do you hang around people that you don't like? I just let go of the negative people in my life, including a few family members. Just because you are related to someone doesn't mean you have to interact with them on a regular basis. My own grandmother is one of the most negative, degrading people in my life and I only see her when I absoultely have too. She actually told me that my son and I don't matter, don't need anything good in our lives and I am stupid. I looked at her and told her that now she knows why I don't want to be around her. Sometimes, relatives are the worst to be around. Let her decide if she wants to hang around her cousin.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:05 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Let them take a break from each other for a while.
    justme782

    Answer by justme782 at 11:33 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • don't force the issue and keep them separated as much as you can as far as if she is at a family function then tell her just be respectful; a lot of us don't get along with our cousins and it doesn't mean we can't be civil when we are around them; don't force the issue. I have learned that I just have to let go of the negative people in my life, including a few family members Just because you are related to someone doesn't mean you have to interact with them on a regular basis; sometimes, relatives are the worst to be around. Let her decide if she wants to hang around her cousin.
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 8:51 AM on May. 16, 2011

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