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What would you do if you wanted more children but your husband didn't?


Asked by seaniebear at 9:38 PM on May. 8, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I have been in the same situation. We have 2, but I wanted a 3rd. (My DH doesn't want another because he's afraid we would be too overwhelmed.) When I was actively in labor with our 1st, it was quite painful and there were a few minor complications. It wasn't huge, but it scared him. He also felt awful/helpless to see me in such pain. We had a 2nd after we talked at length about another being worth the pain.

    If your husband remembers the pain that you felt after your miscarriages, it is understandable that he doesn't want either of you to go through it, again. You need to see if there are any more reasons from his viewpoint. Then, you need to tell him how strongly you feel about having another baby. Perhaps, then, he will see that it is worth the pain to you. I don't think that his not wanting more kids would constitute divorce, but it can obviously lead to resentment, then divorce. I hope it works out for you.

    Answer by Chocolatespring at 10:45 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Respect his opinion. It wouldnt be fair to the child if its father didnt want it. Right?

    Answer by stenhouse_baby at 9:43 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Adoption is far cheaper than a medically complicated pregnancy...

    You took vows to be with your husband "for better, for worse." Honor them. Perhaps his opinion will change in the future: 36 does NOT mean that time is running out!

    Good Luck!

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 10:05 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • ***sigh*** I'm right there. He keeps saying he would like to stop at two but is willing to have a third (I'm 7mos prego n we have a 2yo). I think he only says that for me cuz I want 4-5

    Answer by Vero0724 at 9:42 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • I am in the same boat.....I do not want our DD to be an only child, but my husband does not want another. In a way i can understand with the way the economy is. I just hate to see her as an only child.

    Answer by momoftaterbug at 9:49 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Is it grounds to leave your husband or partner if he doesn't want more children and you do? We have one and I have had multiplr mscarriages and he does nto want to go through the pain of having another child. I am an only child and I always wanted a sibling. I don't think its fair and I feel mislead. When we met he said he wanted three children and now he is going back on his word. Adoption is not an option because its so expensive. He is 47 and I am 36 so I feel like I am runnubng out of time.

    Comment by seaniebear (original poster) at 9:54 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • What about becoming a foster parent?

    No I think it would be a huge mistake to leave just for that reason. IMO if you even have to think like that, your relationship is in trouble anyway. Its not the end of the world to have an only child. It just means you get to focus all your attention and love on one.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 10:22 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Respect his wishes! Don't have another child if both of you aren't on board!

    Answer by Mousuke at 12:11 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • Have one .

    Answer by janet116 at 9:43 PM on May. 8, 2011