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3 Bumps

How is this not a reason for my children to not be at MILs house ?

First off, a little background on my MIL : I love her I really do.. she is very nice, she is 60 years old and is the head nurse at the small hospital in her town (for over 30 years) , unfortunatly those are really the only nice things I can say right now.

She ( and FIL ) have 4 kids ( my husband is the youngest) The other 3 are all druggies, drunks, no jobs, and have several children by several people.

His oldest brother is over 20 years older than my husband and so he has a son who is my age ( 24) , and he also has 2 younger children... all 3 of these children live with MIL ... She has no control over any of them, the younger ones are horrible acting, destroy everything, and are just plain bad acting.

The real problem is the oldest one - my husbands nephew ( the one that is my age ) , he and my husband were pretty much raised as brothers , until they were teens and nephew went back to his mom and got involved with drugs and that kind of mess. My husband grew up the right way ( job, family that he takes care of, nice house, and lives a decent family life) ...

nephew drives MIl and FIl crazy ... Fil even had a heart attack over the stress caused by him ! He has been to jail 3 times for drugs and theft, he has people out at the house constantly threatning to beat him up because he stole drugs or money....

My husband took my kids there yesterday ( i had surgery friday and so he thought it would be nice for me to rest) .... when he came home he told me he SEEN nephew selling drugs to a car right in front of the house, while my husband and the kids were 15 ft. away playing....AND MIL says she KNOWS the house is being watched by the police....

I told my husband that we will not go back there until he is completely moved out of their house... They can come up to see us whenever they want and even stay a weekend if they want ( we live an hour away) ... but we just will NOT got there while he is there.

My husband is upset because now his family is mad at this...

REALLY ? we are being the selfish ones because we are thinking of our children over a druggie ??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on May. 8, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (17)
  • Seriously, if someone was giving my man heart attacks from stress id kick their asses out!
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:17 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • not at all, your kids safety should be your number 1 priority. IF the cops were to raid her house your kids wwould be in the system. Then who'd be mad? They'll get over it, they are your kids, if they dont like it, they'll get their lives together. I'd stick to my guns if i were you. I have problems with rules and my parents all the time, they dont like it but they get over it.
    thelovelymzbre

    Answer by thelovelymzbre at 10:20 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • well you have every right to be mad and not let your kids go back..here is what could happen: say they go over there next time and they have a major raid on the house..everyone there will be arrested for selling bc the cops dont really know who the dealer is..your kids will be picked up by cps and then you will be investigated..this is def not a situation i would want to be involved in..i would keep my kids away
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • tell him if the cops catch children in a house where a man is selling drugs they will be taken away no questions asked!
    KiraStadnik

    Answer by KiraStadnik at 10:29 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • I think you are doing the right thing!!! If it were me I would not want my kids around someone who was dealing (and probably using) drugs... he sounds like he is 'bad news' and someone to keep your kids away from and avoid. I am a bit surprised mil and fil allow it, and have not turned him in or kicked him out. You would think they would not want that kind of goings-on in their house or around the other kids. If mil and fil are upset because they can't see your children, then they have 2 choices-- they can go to your house, or they can kick him out of the house! I hope mil and fil will see you are just looking out for your kids and trying to keep them safe.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:30 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • I'm with you, sorry but my kids safety is TOP priority. THey can be mad if they want to but over all I'd want my children safe.
    You can soften the blow to them by suggesting as well that if your children are there and he gets arrested that it would also warrant more charges against him, including child endangerment.. maybe that will soften the blow a little.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:30 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • guns & drugs go together. I wouldn't let my kids anywhere near a situation like that. Shoot I told my brother if he can't control his swearing around my kids than I don't want him around them. So yeah I wouldn't allow this drug stuff

    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 10:37 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • MIL acts like she is blind... that is why my husbands siblings are the same way ... I have alwasy asked my husband how he turned out to not do that stuff ( he has never drank ever , never even smoked a cigg.) and he always says he didnt want to dissappoint his mom and dad... and it does show that he is their favorite , and we are hoping maybe they will see that "chosing us" is the smart choice....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:31 PM on May. 8, 2011

  • Sounds like a slightly similar situation I can relate to..As a mom you have to do whatever it takes to protect your kids,from people like that it sounds like..The parents must need their heads examined for putting up with such behavior for so many years..Er wait are they on drugs too? how can these people be a positive influence in anyones life? Does MIL find that lifestyle exciting maybe,has a boring life otherwise type thing..or just totally CO-dependent?
    Angelgurl13

    Answer by Angelgurl13 at 12:07 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • Well....no I would not take my child to a home that has drug abuse and selling of those drugs. Period. As a nurse your MIL may be in serious trouble with her state lisencing board. If she in any way is connected to her nephew when it all hits the fan - she will no longer be a nurse. At least she will have a lot of explaining to do. But no, you are not being overly protective or are wrong.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:30 AM on May. 9, 2011

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