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Not a very good example of her denomination ?

I have a neighbor who has invited me to her church over and over and over. I decline because I do not believe like she does. We're both "Christian" as it were: she's Seventh Day Adventist and I'm Non-Denominational (got a little COG, Baptist, Pentecostal and even a little COC in me).
Anyway I finally told her that I would look into her church's teachings because I didn't really know much about SDA except "Branch Davidians" and Waco. Well I looked, and I do not agree with their teachings, hardly at all. I believe we believe in the same God but I'm not so sure that we follow His word in the same manner at all. SO I told her that the next time we talked about it.

Since then, she keeps sending me emails, links to videos, etc that talk about being "Lukewarm Christians". Yesterday, she dropped by and gave me the book "Crazy Love" and made special effort to point out how much good she thought I'd get from the 4th chapter... it's entitled "Profile of the Lukewarm". (big surprise)

I just have had it with her. And let's just make matters worse... she's my landlord too! If I had known how the people at her church are I definitely would never have signed this lease. I'm thinking, surely, it isn't ALL SDA, but probably just her - right?

Anyone with any insight please advise me. We go to church regularly, I only listen to Christian music - I have not given this woman any reason to believe that I'm "lukewarm" - but obviously she does think that. (and I try not to socialize with her AT ALL if I can help it)
Does her behavior sound indicative of SDA or is she just very passive aggressive (or both).
How do I deal with her?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 AM on May. 9, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (12)
  • I don't know much about SDA specifically, to know if that behavior is typical, but my encounters with people of faith in general leave me with the feeling that every denomination has those in it who regard anyone who believes differently not to be "true" believers, and are aggressive about converting everyone else. I'll admit to being lost as to how to effectively deal with such people, I've never managed it other than turning off in my head while they make their attempts and just nodding and smiling until it's over.

    Answer by bishopblack at 3:05 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I have never known any SDA to be like that, but there are always going to be some. I am COC, if someone asks me to go with them I am always happy to go if they in turn would go with me, I would explain why I dont believe how they believe and then tell them why I believe what I believe and I would be happy for them to do the same in telling me about their beliefs, however after that there has to be a mutual respect of each others beliefs, and she has to understand that she can not keep pushing her beliefs onto you.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 3:49 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • Ack, I hate that mentality!! I get it from my own MOTHER! I was raised Christian but seeing all the evil in the church and the whole "be saved or burn in hell" doesn't sit well with me. If you join the church out of fear of eternal damnation, you're doing it for the wrong reasons, so why is that stuff even in there?? Anyway, I believe in God, we pray before meals, we are kind loving people. But she drives me nuts with the whole, "some of it must have rubbed off on you" sort of comments. I feel I have moved to a higher plane of spiritual existence but she keeps making it like I've strayed. Makes me crazy. Sorry I have no advice, but loads of sympathy.

    Answer by judimary at 4:12 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • Tell her you don't want any more information from her about religion. If you change your mind you'll come to her.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:46 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • Just be honest with her and tell her you are doing just fine and do not wish to speak with her about any spiritual matters or to read anymore of her literature. I think a lot of people mean well when they want to share that kind of thing with others and they have no clue how offensive they are appearing.



    Answer by CallMeAngie at 6:48 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • You obviously, for some reason, feel like she has a valid point. Why is that? Use her proddings and pokings as a tool to reaffirm your own faith. Thank her for giving you something to think about and an opportunity to strengthen your faith. Approach it from a different angle. If she is your landlord, you may have some recourse with the laws of your state. I don't think that a landlord is allowed to do this

    Answer by adnilm at 8:16 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I've only known (at least known well) one Seventh Day Adventist years ago, and she was nothing like that. I worked with her, and she was very friendly and though she mentioned her religion now and then, she was not pushy in my opinion. I do remember being a little jealous that she didn't have to work on Saturdays like the rest of us though. LOL I suppose it depends on the individuals and maybe the particular congregation she belongs to though. For example, I grew up Presbyterian, but I wouldn't assume another Presbyterian followed similar beliefs as the church I went to as a child. If I knew they were part of the Presbyterian Church U.S.A., then it's more likely that they were similar than some other church. Within different denominations, you can further divide them into liberal, mainline, and conservative. I'm sure that's a hard position to be in since you have to deal with her from time to time as your landlord. Good luck!

    Answer by pam19 at 8:58 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I think you should kill her with kindness. I think she truly is trying to "save" you and "help" you. She is just ignorant of your beliefs and feelings. Quote the Bible to her. There is no way that she can argue with that. Matthew 7 talks about not judging people and the verses of the Bible that talk about "lukewarm Christians" warn people not to associate with them much. She is not being Biblical at all, and any practice that isnt stemmed from something in the Bible is just made up by people. Call her out.

    Answer by amber710 at 9:04 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • i would cool the relationship with her by telling her you are not interested in 'church talk', you would like to remain civil and friendly (hello, she is your landlady), and be done with it.
    you can block her emails, return the books, or throw them in the trash. you have the upper-hand with how much you allow her to 'bother' you.

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:51 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I don't think it's because she's SDA...I think it's because she's a controlling bitch with boundary issues.

    Answer by MamaK88 at 11:57 AM on May. 9, 2011

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