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How many times a day should the bio mom call?

We have custody and bio mom calls stepson several times a day he's 6 and dosnt really care for the phone she calls to tell him she bought him something not often can she afford to but the calls get irritating my hubby will answer always even if were at dinner or out I feel like she could leave a message and my ss can return the call once we get home I'm all for them talking but really Saturday she called 6 times a little much

 
rinamomof2

Asked by rinamomof2 at 7:15 AM on May. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (19)
  • Um, that's quite excessive
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 8:55 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • we have an open communication clause in our custody agreement...he can call as many times as he wants up to 7 pm. She's still his mom, and as long as she is showing interest, let it go. It's better than her never calling and not wanting anything to do with her child, you have to understand that she probably misses him, and the contact she has with him at least lets her feel like she's trying.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 7:18 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • If there has been an abuse/neglect issue, cut the calls. Once daily is plenty.
    I'd say otherwise if the situation were harmonious between custodial parent/child/non custodial parent. Though, it doesn't sound that way based on a couple of your comments. I'd personally listen in on phone calls, see exactly what she has to say and why it needs to be so frequently. This has the potential to be truly harmful if she decides to be vindictive, which unfortunately the majority of "adults" do.

    My ex is "trying"- he has been "trying" since we separated. The end result, kids who's behavior is severely altered every time he talks to them- even the teachers see a difference and ask if they've spoken to their sperm donor, because of the behavioral changes. When I quit putting up with his harassing calls (more than 3 in 24 hours is harassment), their behavior improved.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:27 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • is skype a possibility? if she can see his face and talk to him at the same time maybe once daily would be sufficient.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:29 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I would try and talk to her maybe set up a time each day for her to call and if you're going to be out during that time have your son call her. I also wouldn't present it in a way that makes her feel her calls are annoying, i would just let her know that you are just trying to set up a time thats good for him and her, that way she is not calling during dinner, homework or whatever. You have to make it so it benefits her too or chances are she won't be up for doing it. In our case the judge told the bio mom she can call 1 day a week (friday) at 6:30 pm because he thought it was ridiculous for her to call and call.
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 9:54 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I agree, this is excessive. I would turn off the ringer during meal time, your family needs some sort of normalcy - that can't be achieved with her constantly interrupting your lives.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:02 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • And it lets him know that she is thinking of him and cares.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:25 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • i think its to much he is 6. she dose not need to tell him every time she buys something that to me sounds like she trying to emosanal black mail him . i say once a day is enough , even maybe to much as you said your self he really dose not care for the phone I'm also i custodial step mum but my bm down to emails only but she is a total nut job

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I think if you have a clause for open communication you have to let it ride whether you like it or not.. is it too much or are you inconvenienced? If it bothers you get him his own line that only accepts certain calls... I don't think it's too much -- do you get to talk to him more than 6x a day -- Probably right.. I know it's hard but do the right thing, every time and you will reap rewards.. cut her out or have him cut her out and it will be bad long term.
    Camilletnt

    Answer by Camilletnt at 8:18 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • she seems to call more when she knows were doing something hmmm sound like she trying ti make shore ss thinking of her its prob not good for ss kids need to be stable and looked after . this kinda thing can leave him confused and upset i think maybe be better to draw up a time bm can call him so he know when its gona be . ibm normal don't loss custody for nothing so i'm think there must be reasons

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on May. 9, 2011

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