this was my post yesterday: http://www.cafemom.com/answers/834229/So_my_husband_left_today_happy_freakin_mothers_day_to_me
anyway he called last night from his mother's and claimed that he's going to be staying with her to "get clean". he was in a sour mood last night and every question i asked he got defensive. it was not the attitude of someone who wanted to rectify their mistakes and show through their actions how sorry they were for being deceitful, but someone who was being forced to drop an addiction. he basically expects me to bend over backwards through this "rehab", stay positive and supportive and pretend like the last 6+ months were dreamed up. is he insane? i was the one covering for him, lying for him and being fed bullshit by him behind closed doors. i was the one being told time after time that this was the "last time". how can he turn around and victimize himself? and expect me to just "go with the flow"?
i thought about our conversation a lot last night while tossing and turning in bed. this morning i felt a little less angry/hurt, and had some kind of hope that maybe he will get clean at his mom's. until i checked our bank account online, and saw that he got $25 in gas on the debit card yesterday. our budget is very tight and we take money out for gas, and only use the debit card/checkbook for bills. he had $30 in cash on him that was to be used ONLY for gas. our argument blew up yesterday before he left because he wanted an EXTRA $20 to buy "some". so now that he's gotten gas on the debit card, he still has that $30 in cash. am i to be the loving, generous and stupid wife that believes my husband is being honest and forgot to use cash? or go with my instinct and know that this is another way of sneaking around, and while his mom's at work today he's going to go buy himself a $20 sack.
Answer by tootoobusy at 7:28 AM on May. 9, 2011
Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:37 AM on May. 9, 2011
Answer by RubyinPA at 9:41 AM on May. 9, 2011
Answer by kylie_bob at 7:32 AM on May. 9, 2011
Answer by chgomom at 7:36 AM on May. 9, 2011
Answer by tootoobusy at 7:42 AM on May. 9, 2011
Answer by tootoobusy at 7:43 AM on May. 9, 2011
Answer by alphamom26 at 7:59 AM on May. 9, 2011
I feel sorry saying this but this is my life experience my mother father uncle aunt and grandpa are addicts ( cocaine/crack) my other two uncles are drunks. out of all of them only one has changed. I have a very negative view of addicts they dont stop because they dont want to they lie and even try but are selfish. I dont think they are bad people or try to hurt you but that high feels so good and is very addictive i would separate until he got clean. Tough love is needed. My mom always blew me off lied to me stole from me once. When i had my dd she became a working addict, she blew my dd off once when she was 4 she my dd was crying because when my mom is around shes clean but i didnt talk to her for a month she would call me a few times a day and try and come over. finally i gave in and my dd is 6 and she never did it again. The one who did change hit rock bottom lost everything, i think sometimes thats what it takes.GL!
Answer by whitenena at 8:56 AM on May. 9, 2011
Answer by whitenena at 9:01 AM on May. 9, 2011
Next question in Relationships
Ever gone through a period of not liking people in general?