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How long do you let a drag on the divorce before....

you give up and start dating or do you wait until it is final?

He had uncontested paperwork for a year (we both agreed to the terms and he wouldn't sign)
I filed for divorce through a lawyer in January and he left the country for a year due to his job a week later and is stalling it until he returns..

Would you just say enough is enough and start dating?

My kids are 2 and 5, we have been "married" for 8 years now but haven't lived together for a year and a half (not due to his job, just separation).


Asked by Anonymous at 8:34 AM on May. 9, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • oh darlin, our divorce took 2 YEARS. There was no way in hell i was going to put my life on hold because of it....

    I don't give a fuck what others think....i dated the man i fell in love with before i was divorced & never thought twice about it. We've been married fro 6 years.

    It's guys aren't together anymore.....go on a few dates! It's not a big deal...

    They cannot use that against you if you're dating before the divorce is final Imortlmommy. I know I've been ex tried using that & the judge said "what she does with her personal life is none of your business & does not affect this divorce in any way" I wanted to laugh in his face when the judge said that. away....he can't use that as leverage in the court..unless your boyfriend is a harm to the children.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:48 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I'd wait until it's final so nothing can be used against you later. My parents divorce lasted a year from start to finish, but I think their case was fees. If anything else...maybe ask his lawyer to rush the signatures. G'luck!

    Answer by Imortlmommy at 8:38 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I am going through a divorce now. In about 2 weeks we will have been separated for 1 year but the divorce will not be final until at least August. I am so over it and am ready to get on with my life and start dating again. However, I believe in my vows regardless of the fact that my stbxh does not deserve my loyalty. I will not date until I am officially single.    I have pretty much been with my stbxh since I was 14 but married for 9 years. 


    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 8:43 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • Samurai Chica In some states it can be used against you. I live in Virginia which is one of the states that dating before the divorce is final is considered having an affair and can be used against you.  


    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 8:56 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • My ex and I didnt divorce for more than 5 yrs and I started dating almost right away. He had cheated and moved in with his mistress so I didnt see why I should have to wait on someone I knew I would never be with again. On top of it our custody agreement was already signed and set, he just REFUSED to grant me a divorce AND he was living with someone else he had gotten pregnant. I dont see why you need to wait? If you are sure you are going to stay apart then move on.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:56 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • He doesn't have an attorney, so he doesn't really have any say. I would talk to your attorney and have that changed. Take it before the judge, ask for a divorce by default. You should also be able to ask for a legal separation, then you can have a clear conscience and move forward. I had a legal sep for 6 months before it was final, and I asked my lawyer if it was bad on my part to move on, and he said no, it's legal, and there wasn't a chance of things changing, so no worries.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:10 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • He had 8 years to show that, little too late now genius

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:39 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • he doesn't have a lawyer, he asked the courts to delay it until he returns in February

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:40 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • your lawyer should have put an add in the newspaper stating you are filing you could have divorced without him signing get a lawyer that knows what they are doing.. most courts won't make you wait your ex would have ___ amount of time to sign or the paper work would be filed without him.. I say date but don't bring any guys around the kids unless it starts getting serious aka getting married

    Answer by maiahlynn at 8:43 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • ok I read he asked the courts to wait till Feb 2011 for him to come back If I was you I would tell your lawyer to ask the judge not to wait because thats too long to wait

    Answer by maiahlynn at 8:45 AM on May. 9, 2011