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How can I be happy about having a 4th child?

My husband and I have been married 6 years and things haven't been good for the last three, but we are still together. Now, I found out I am Pregnant with our 4th. I don't know how to be happy when I know my family members are going to put me down for having so many kids. Plus while my marriage is rocky, how can this be turned into a positive thing?

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SadlyPositive

Asked by SadlyPositive at 11:12 AM on May. 9, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • This baby is a blessing, and for your family members who can't see that, then they don't need to be around them. I would look into counseling for you and dh. See things from each others point of view.... It's obviously not too bad since you are having sex with each other. Good luck mama!!!
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:26 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • Let's see, you were happy to make a baby but yet your reserved about being happy to have a baby? The irony...

    Brutal Truth...
    IF your marriage was on the rocks for the past three years then why in GOD's name are you trying to get pregnant? I don't give me that pathetic excuse that it was a blessing either, cause it's not! And your' family is right, why are you having more kids and bringing them into a troubleed marriage? Ask your self really why? By law, if your within the first 3mos, you can still abort it and then you can deal with the problems you already have. Sorry for venting, but I just hate when women make a bad situation worse by getting preg. And the new kid won't save your marriage, it's a joint effort and you need to get help and therapy before it gets worse. If you've been married for 6yrs and dealing with ongoing issues, it doesn't sound to me like you chose the right man to marry. Good luck with that!
    NikkiVan1

    Answer by NikkiVan1 at 11:30 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • ((((((hugs)))))) mama. For me, it wasn't my 4th pregnancy that I had a hard time adjusting to, it was my 3rd. My 2nd baby was only 5 months old, my marriage was on the rocks and we were totally broke. I was completely overwhelmed with the idea of going through another pregnancy so soon, and then having 2 babies in a few months on top of everything else.

    What you are feeling is normal and OK. I know lots of other moms who have had very mixed feelings at the beginning of one pregnancy of another. Don't beat yourself up over it. You have several months to get used to the idea, and once the new baby is here you will love him or her just as much as the others, and soon you won't be able to imagine life without your newest member of the family. 4 is not a lot different or harder than 3.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:31 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • Don't abort the baby! Do not listen to NikkiVan1-She sounds like a bitch! Tell your hubby,all people go through rocky times,they don't last,and it will get better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I have 5 kids - so screw what anyone else says about your family size! I am sorry you are having marriage troubles though. Is there any way you can get into counseling? If not, I would talk openly with your husband about the issues and get some marriage books to read together and try to work it out before the baby comes.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:44 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • Maybe this baby will motivate you to find some happiness for your life. Unless your family is having to support you then ignore them when they make comments about the new baby.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 11:55 AM on May. 9, 2011

  • I hear 3 separate issues - marriage, pregnancy, and family. All marriages go through a rocky period and usually more than once - you/hubby will have to deal with whatever the issues are but first - are you/hubby committed to making it work? If so, get to working! If not, well, then get to work on getting on. You're pregnant - whatever else is going on with you/hubby - this baby IS a blessing. You just have to move all the other things crowding your head right now to see that. What your family will think of you? Hon, what do YOU think? Are you happy about this pregnancy? You/hubby decide what happens in your family - what your family members or others (Nikki) think is not important or valid now. What do you want in all of this? That's the question you need to ask yourself and answer; once you have that, all else will fall into place. I wish you strength, courage of conviction, and most of all - peace. Big, big hug
    pocmom

    Answer by pocmom at 12:15 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Thank you all for your comments. And just for the record, I was NOT trying to get pregnant! I was and have been on birh control right after our second daughter was born. I got pregnant with our third daughter while on the patch and now again on the pill. I don't think nor did I think this baby would save my marriage. I'm 30 but not stupid. And no my family isn't having to support me. Again, I sincerely appreciate all comments. SadlyPositive
    SadlyPositive

    Comment by SadlyPositive (original poster) at 12:17 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • F-off Nikki!! Look at your other 3 kids, that might help you get more excited about having another child. If you truly don't want it, consider an open adoption. And maybe get your tubes tied. I hope you can get thru this, please feel free to pm me if you ever want to chat.
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 1:55 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • A baby is a gift, so many people cant have kids, try to remember how lucky you are, you will soon have 4 little miracles!!! No matter what your situation and what other people say it is your life, and you have been blessed again with another child!
    VBM7287

    Answer by VBM7287 at 2:28 PM on May. 9, 2011

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