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3 Bumps

Sister taking advantage of mom

My sister has been married for about 6 yrs but her and husband has an off and on relationship. The past three years when they get in an argument she would pack up and leave and stay with my mom. Everyone in the family would stop what they was doing to help her move out, for her to only move back in the next week. Last year in November she moved out and everyone in our family told her that was the last time we were going to help her. She moved out and a week later she is back over there. Her husband may work 2 months out of the year and refuse to help her where their child is concerned. My aunt came down from NY and my sister gave her this sob story of how she couldn't take living with her husband any more, so my aunt loan her some money to get an divorce(this was 2 1/2 yrs ago). A couple of months ago she quit her job. My mom is paying her rent and providing food for her. The church donated some food to her, but she don't like some of the stuff they donated. Lately she has been coming to my house to mooch off of us. Dh said he would feed her daughter but he is not going to help her. She is taking advantage of mom big time. She is not looking for a job my aunt called and said she needed her money back(sister spent it) so my mom had to write a check out and send it to her. My mom dished out $300 to get her re-certified for medical assistant. She is still sleeping with her husband but refuse to put him on child support and he refuse to help out. My mom only income is SS so she is on a fixed income. We tried to tell her that she need to stop helping her but my mom can't stand for her "baby" to be in a bind. We have been thinking about calling my other sister in the military so she can talk to my mom(mom will only listen an take her advise) but she is going through so much right now(being over 400 troops) that we don't won't to add to her stress. Do you think I should call my sister in the military? This situation has gotten out of hand. My mom can't pay her own bills and she has no food in the house(I have been cooking ans sending her plates) What should I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on May. 9, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Ask your sis who's in the military for help. Maybe she can get through to your mom.

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 1:18 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Ask your sister.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 1:22 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Have you talked to your sister and her "husband" face to face? They need to understand that what they are doing to your mother is taking a toll on her and the other members of the family. Tell her that if she wants to act like this and put her own child in this mess than you will call the authorities. I wouldn't put up with that. One of my cousins was the same way and she had a baby. I told her that I will take the baby until she gets her life together and if she doesn't stop with this behavior than I will cut her off completely and I will file for custody of her baby. I had so much dirt on her that she complied. She didn't clean up her act so I filed for custody. "my son" is now 17 years old and he is graduating high school and has a full scholarship to college. Sometimes some people won't help themselves and you have to think of the child(ren) involved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Tell your mooching ass sister just what you told us here. Your mother is struggling and if she doesn't help herself then you(all family) can't help either. Sounds tough but it sounds like she needs it. She is takeing atvantage of EVERYONE. Hell, have an Intervention.

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 1:25 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • sounds like ur sister learned from the best (her husband) in regards to how to be a useless mooch! No offense but she sounds like she thrives on the drama and is very very selfish.....I have a step sister like that and it is all about what she can do for her and where she can create drama and dump her kid off. It is a said situation for the child. It really is but everyone needs to just say enough is enough and let her fumble a bit. My stepsister has pretty much burned a lot of bridges and family members that once were willing to help her are not willing to do so anymore, she stepped on them and used them one too many times. Get your mom to see this because she really is not helping her, and she is not helping herself. If need be yes, get your other sister involved. Good luck!

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 2:07 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • She doesn't care who she is hurting as long as she getting what she want.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:27 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Its time get that sister on the phone and get the rest of the family together you will have to be united and tell her she has said amount of time to get out to get a job you tell her you will feed her daughter and keep her daughter while she looks for a job give her 30 days and tell her its time.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:34 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Your mom has to participate as well. Nothing you do will matter if mom is not on board.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:36 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Your mom is a willing participant and a complete enabler. There is nothing you can do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • man i am so sorry you guys are going through this,it sounds like she doesnt know what she wants and is very immature for taking advantage of your mom like that. i understand asking for help at some point,but at the same time there is a limit to too much help.i hope things go well,and that u get the support u need for whenever you guys do talk to her. good luck! :)

    Answer by luckygirl2000 at 1:40 PM on May. 9, 2011