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2 Bumps

My ex attempted suicide last night

He is just waking up in the hospital and I'm going to go see him. I don't know how to deal with all of it. I want to be there for him, but things have been crazy lately and i'm afraid he'll think that if i hug him or am there for him that means i want to be with him. How do I be there for him without giving him false hope and make things worse? It seems like a silly question but if I smile at him he starts posting things on facebook saying i like him again. I think he thought if he made it through it i'd realize what i'd be losing.

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dbodani

Asked by dbodani at 1:24 PM on May. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,925 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I would show up there tell him you are glad he is okay and then yell at him for being so stupid! Let him know you don't want to be in a relationship with him but you sure as hell don't want him to die trying to get attention!.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 1:27 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Be polite and nice without being warm. I hope that makes sense. I honestly can't think of another way to put that. And I think the hug is out...
    CeeCee333

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 1:37 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Do NOT GO. You are giving him mixed messages. Leave him alone. I just had to tell my x today to leave me alone bc every time he tries to come back as a friend I think he's back. It's cruel. Your x is in a vulnerable state. Don't make it worse. Starting all over again getting over someone is torture. If he sees you he has to go to square one again. Don't be that mean.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Uhm. don't be there for him. He is your ex. I have been in that situation before. My ex drove his car into a lamp post at 60 mph. It wasn't until after I visited him that I learned that he refused an ambulance at the site, went home and then asked my parents to take him to the hospital. He wanted to see if I still cared. I did, but you have to make the distinction that he is not your responsibility anymore. I called his family and told them that I cannot be there for him- that we were through and that they needed to step up and be there for him.

    It was a messy situation but he is your ex. It feels wrong and cold and mean to do it but he has to realize that you aren't his caretaker.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 1:38 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • you could not see him just so he doesnt get any false hope like you said. he might even take the visit as a hint. you could tell him AFTER he gets out that he needs to move on and there's too many people out there that love him and quit doing things that will hurt them.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:39 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I'd go check he's OK, but tell him nothing has changed and he has got to get on with his life, and tell him to never EVER pull a stunt like this again! He has to let you go, it's not fair on either of you, especially you! It's out of order if he did do this just to get your attention, and you need to make that clear when you see him.
    kylie_bob

    Answer by kylie_bob at 1:41 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I wonder if it would not be easier to talk to his family about this and see what their thoughts are on this or maybe you should just call him. It is a little less impersonal that a face to face visit and will show you are concerned but not that his doing this got you running right over. Then I would clearly tell him that you are glad that he is okay but it does not change the fact that you are not together. Suggest he takes advantage of the help and support he is being offered at this time to get past feeling this way and to starting his life over because he is being a second chance at life, but make it clear you are not part of that new life.
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 1:57 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I wouldn't go. If you show up he will think you want to get back together. Send him a card and don't sign it Love,
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 2:18 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • i wouldn't go and visit him. if you are saying any little thing will set him off thinking you love him again i wouldn't go. he needs psych help not you. let him be if anything.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 2:52 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I would stay away. Especially if you think this was an effort to get your attention. Stay home. He needs to find another way to cope and he won't if he thinks there's any hope that you will step back in.
    kidnappedbylove

    Answer by kidnappedbylove at 3:39 PM on May. 9, 2011

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