Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do i confront my mom? PLEASE HELP!!

i live with my mom given im young to have a child(18yrs old), and some of the stuff i dont agree with. she says im spoiling my son(2 mths old) but everything i read says that cant be possible bc they need to know they are loved and what not. i use a pacifier with my son, when she had her kids (24 yrs ago) she never used a pacifier and think they are the worst but i was told they arent that bad(my son is 2mths old). she thinks they are bad and didnt have a problem with SIDS when she had her kids. she told me once that i hold my son too much, and now she says i dont hold him enough...idk what to do. yes im new but everybody else tells me different then my mom but i mean she is my mom...PLEASE HELP!!!

Answer Question

Asked by sprtchic13 at 10:38 AM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • some moms do that i live with my kids grandmother not my mom their dads mom and she is always telling me im either spoiling them or other crap i just let it go in one ear and out the other hes your first you are allowed to spoil him if you want

    Answer by wendy232425 at 10:41 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Most moms do that. my mother claims that i dont take good care of my son who is two. or bcuz we spank our kid when he does something bad, and she wont because he's still a baby.. but maybe sit down and talk to her, if you have that type of relationship or ignore it..

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 11:06 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • My DH used to tell me that I was spoiling our now three month old- we used to fight because he'd come home and nothing would be done around the house and he didnt see how my job was so hard. So i had to explain to him that the baby wanted to be held all the time, therefore its hard to clean. He'd argue that I just needed to put him down and let him cry. Thats when I told him that I stay at home not to take care of Him but to take care of our son. He has very few needs-diapers food sleep-but his most important need is MOMMY. CONT>>>

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 11:09 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Cont---
    To me, having my son feel safe and secure and loved is a helluva lot more important that the dishes, and if all he wants is for me to hold him and love on him, then by God I would sit my ass on the couch all day and do just that. That is the most important thing in the world is to make sure your child feels loved and safe and secure. That shut him up real quick. When he's older (6 months and up) then I will pull out the walker or toys, but right now he cant really self entertain. Thats what mommies are for.

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 11:10 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Just on the SIDS fact... it's been proven that using a pacifier significantly reduces the risk of SIDS because they are actively doing something while sleeping

    Answer by Mamakat90 at 11:36 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I have a problem with my mom giving her STRONG opinions too. We dont' live together but I still addressed it. I just told her that when she tells me things, sometimes it makes me feel bad b/c she is coming across like I'm not doing things right. I told her that I wanted to do things my way with the baby and I appreciate her input and her experience. I told her that I would come to her with any questions that I had if I didn't feel I knew how to do it or could do it in a better way. I told her that I know that I chose to have this baby and that I am single but I wanted to learn on my own what it consists of, I am trying to be responsible and feel I am doing a good job. Tell her you appreciate all the help she is giving you and the home for you two, and that you know she means well :)

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 11:48 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I was always told you can't spoil an infant by holding them to much. Usually the spoiling dosn't start until there a little older. I live with my mother as well so I know how that goes I have two boys. I just listen to what she says, but there my kids and I have the last say no matter what.

    Answer by annmarieb25 at 7:07 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.