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2 Bumps

Is there any hope?

Not really a question just needing to get some things off my chest. The appt. for my son today didn't go as planned we were hoping that they were going to be able to get him into a long term facility. He has severe ADD ODD and mood disorder and he recently came out of a short term facility while we were waiting for his apt for long term. So i enrolled him back in school so he wouldn't miss anything. Boy was that a bad idea it basically undid all the progress that they had made at the first place. And i am really losing my ability to hang on to a small shred of hope that one day he will get better. My gut is telling me that my son has just given up and doesn't care enough at all to change and i feel like i have failed as a mother and just don't understand what to do next. Do i keep fighting knowing that this could never change or just tell myself at some point you need to just let go? I don't know what to do...

 
amberpaiz

Asked by amberpaiz at 3:56 PM on May. 9, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 24 (18,644 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Never give up. You just can't. I know it is hard, but there is always hope. I know some days it may not feel like it, but you are all he has. If you give up so will he. Just take it minute by minute if you have to. No one says it all has to be accomplished all at once.

    Breathe and look at your options. Can you get him back into a short term facility? What about alternative schools? Do you have a case worker? It may be time to ask for further assistance from your family doctor or the school. He may get very angry with you for seeking such help, but in the long run you need all the support you can get to help you make the right choices for him.
    sipn_mom

    Answer by sipn_mom at 4:06 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Don't give up. Kids this age without any tagged diagnoses are tough nuts to crack. ADHD and OCD are both issues that constantly have new research and new cures and neither are as simple as fixing a cut on your knee. Keep being patient, don't give up and don't stop showing your love. Things may not turn around overnight but there is still LOTS OF HOPE.
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 5:07 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I believe from what I've read before, he is 11? unless I"m thinking of someone else. I think you are completely overwhelmed and rightfully so - you have NOT Failed as a mother as you are trying to do the best for your son and your family. I think it would be easy to want to give up hope but I think you've come too far.. keep trying the best you can Mama.. good luck!~~
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:02 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • he is 9 actually and thank you for your kind words
    amberpaiz

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 4:04 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • ok to answer your question as simply as possible between myself and DH and the school and all his therapists and the facilities we are doing everything we can to try and make things better for him. He can't return to the short term b/c or insurance has run out for the fiscal year for that type of help but will kick in more time when he goes long term. The frustration lies there b/c he has literally told a million times i day i don't care i'll do what i want and he puts forth absolutely no effort to help in any way. I feel like i am playing tug-o-war with a 900lb man!! its just not possible to reach him or get him to care or try at all to behave even for twenty minutes and i have three other children that are scared for their lives hell i am scared for my life!! he is getting so strong i am so sorry to go on and on
    amberpaiz

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 4:12 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • oh and i also wanted to add he is on three different meds serequil tennex and depakoat and he takes the maximum adult dosages
    amberpaiz

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 4:14 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Amber, does your county provide any kind of services? I see you're at Fort Campbell... is there anything additional available through the military?
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:16 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • yes their is aba and he is on that plus the efmp program. we are doing everything on our end that we can it just seems like none of it has any effect on him. Like i said i think he himself has just given up on life. I try anything and everything i can. He takes up 98% of my time and it seems like nothing gets thru and he just doesn't care. That is why i am asking myself why am i killing myself,my marriage the rest of my childrens happiness over someone who has given up and doesn't care that it's litteraly killing me to go on like this
    amberpaiz

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 4:20 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Why did they deny him going to a long term care facility?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:34 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • they didn't deny him there is just a really long waiting list
    amberpaiz

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 4:55 PM on May. 9, 2011