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3 Bumps

I need help with punishment

The school called and told me my son can't go to school tomorrow because he flipped off a teacher. My son has been having extreme behavior problems in school. He doesn't do his work in class,he talks when he isn't suppose to. My son has said that he does most of his work but that sometimes he does talk. He also said the teacher grabbed his neck,I asked some other kids and they said they saw her grab his neck to.
My main concern is my sons behavior I'm lost grounding him does nothing,he doesnt have anything to take away,maybe I could just send him to bed for the rest of the day and night? I'm having so many problems with him and my daughter so I just need something that is effective in turning his behavior around.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on May. 9, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (12)
  • Military school. Start with the threat of it at first then tell him that he doesn't clean up his act you'll send him there for the summer. It isn't such a bad idea to send him anyway. sounds like he needs structure and discipline. If you don't have anything to take away from him, I'm sure military camp will find something.

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 5:44 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Really he doesn't have ANYTHING to take away? TV time, computer, games, cell phone, friends, sports..... what things does he like to do? Take THAT away until his behavior changes in school. I would also make him appologize to his teacher.... what did he do to make the teacher grab his neck?

    Answer by AmiJanell at 5:46 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • He's 12.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:46 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • He already lost his computer and all games,friends,skateboard.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:47 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I don't know what he did,the teacher denies the allegation against her.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:48 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • You know what, he's probably doing drugs. I would get that in check now, otherwise it will be downhill from here.

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 5:49 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Maybe if he has nothing to take away then he doesn't see the point in behaving? Try teaching him respect and understanding instead of punishment and loss. I know I'm not in your shoes and haven't seen how he behaves- but coming from a house of unruly kids myself I saw the change that happened when my parents tried other tactics instead of punishing my siblings. It worked. It may not work for everyone. And it definitely takes more patience. But it may be what your son needs.

    Answer by meandrphoto at 5:52 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Honestly talk to him. Take him somewhere where there is not tech and just talk. Brake down and cry if you have to Talk to the school counselor and see what else you can do. Make a reward something at the end of the week Tell him he can earn back his stuff if not it will go away. Whatever you do you must follow up on it. Being 12 is hard Trying to feel excepted in school and having exceptional grades are even harder. Who does he hang out with? How are their grades peers are very important to age 12 maybe he's following someone? It sounds like he's trying to ask for attention the wrong way. Please don't get me wrong I don't know your son but you need to find out how to get him on a good positive path.
    A teacher grasped his throat that would my 1st issue I would take my son and have a meeting with his teacher and him at the same time.
    I wish you luck

    Answer by bmwlover at 6:50 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Seeing you are having issues with BOTH children, try family counseling.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:59 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • I also, have a 12 yr old dd. She seems to have the same problems. With not doing school work, but no behaviror problems in school. She too doesn't seem phased by taking things away.
    Until, I go her a cell phone. I've taken her door off the hindges because she slamed the door, ect..
    You have to find the one thing.. It took me 12 yrs.
    I feel for you.. Good Luck....

    Answer by SassySue123 at 8:21 PM on May. 10, 2011

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