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True Love Waits

Most of you should know what it is, if not you can Google.

If you've participated in TRL, or your children have, do you feel that abstinence alone, is adequate sexual education?

Were you taught responsible sexual practices? Were you encouraged to practice safe sex, even within a "monogamous" relationship? What about barrier methods for contraception?

Were you encouraged not to practice safe sex (even if it is only one partner- within the legal and spiritual confines of marriage)?

 

**If you've participated in TRL, do you think it is wise to force a child to participate in, or expect them to?

Answer Question
 
ObbyDobbie

Asked by ObbyDobbie at 6:05 PM on May. 9, 2011 in Religious Debate

Level 34 (70,074 Credits)
Answers (28)
  • I was a kid who believed what her parents said was the rule to go by. I was told no sex until marriage. I agreed with that idea and stuck with it. I was taught that if I did decide to have sex to be safe. I honestly think my parents did not expect me to wait. I will be teaching my kids abstinence is best, but know enough to also teach them safe sex. I have my ideas, but I am not naive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I don't believe that abstinence alone is adequate sexual education. You never know who is doing what when you aren't looking and while we hope to raise our children better than that so that maybe they choose to be abstinent I would rather have them have the education than fall to disease out of ignorance since education in all aspects leads to better life decisions and usually much better outcomes.
    LadyMitres

    Answer by LadyMitres at 6:11 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Abstinence Alone- NO. Certainly not, aren't shows like "Teen Mom" proof enough that that mentality is failed?


    Abstinence + Sexual education(everything from STD"s to safe sex and preventative measures)- YES. It is what I was taught and what I will be teaching my children. I am not naive enough to assume they will refrain from sex until they are married thus I will ensure they are educated on the matter so that they may make educated decisions themselves, and should they engage in sex ensure that they are protected.

    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 6:14 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I worked with the Adolescent Parenting Program years ago. We'd take the girls willing to participate, to schools around the county. They'd talk to large school assemblies about how difficult is was to be a teen parent. They told their stories about missing after school sports, missing dances and fun teenage activities, disappointing their families, waking up all throught he night with baby and being tired all day, falling behind on their grades, not being able to have a boyfriend etc. The true love waits program is awesome and you could just see the looks on the kids' faces in the bleachers.... They were greatly impacted. All young people should be taught the TLW program IMO. The girls even talked about how they were being safe, and ended up pregnant.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 7:39 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • OH! And when I worked in teen shelters, I had a very graphic program that I created to teach teens the dangers of sex. I had pics and all! They were so grossed out. I hope they were grossed out enough to wait. I even had kiddos approach me after my classes and tell me that they were experiencing the symptoms that I'd shown them and talked about. So I was able to help those who had already slipped up as well. It's so worth is to talk to young people about waiting to have sex nd the pressures that are all around them.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 7:43 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Sex Ed at my house with my 16 year old boy looks like this- you are lucky- you are the type of kid people like- you have power and with that comes responsibility- there is no such thing as no strings attached sex at 16- girls will have sex with you to climb the ladder-but you run the risk of them becoming attached, doing something crazy, hurting themselves or you- THEN there is the whole pregnancy/STD things- believe me boy- you can hardly take care of yourself, much less the emotions of others- do yourself a favor and wait until you really love someone and then make sure YOU are protected- not the most popular answer but I approach him based on what HE needs not what some book or website tells me- he is unique (as all kids are) and a one sized fits all approach to sex ed is not going to cut it-
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 7:45 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • kenzie...that sounds awful to take a bunch of teen moms & make them talk about how much being a mother sucks when it's really wonderful no matter how young you are.

    No, i won't teach abstinence or any of that crap to my DD. I will teach her that actions have serious consequences...yeah....i may show her some of those nasty herpes pics...that DOES help....

    True love s subjective.....fuck waiting...i would be so pissed if my DH had a pencil for a dick...lol

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:01 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Wow Samuri... I'm shocked by what you said. Go ahead and teach your son how macho he is to bang a bunch of girls so that he doesn't have, what was it, "pencil dick"? At least my DD will know the likes of THAT kind of parenting. Anyway, the girls on the panels were volunteers. And tehy never talked about anything that they didn't discuss as a true difficulty in their REAL LIFE. They truly wanted to encourage other teens to wait until they were responsible enough to make adult decisions. There are so many situations in school where having babies as a teen is glamorized. If we helped a handful of kids have pencil dick until he/she was old enough to take on the responsibilities that follow, then it was all worth it. GL with your son! I truly mean that!

    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 8:15 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I wasn't taught much of anything by my parents as far as sex went- but I knew- growing up in a really religious house that I was supposed to wait until marriage
    Let's just say, that's not what happened- I kinda went crazy for awhile, and almost never used any kind of birth control or safety measures. I was never told about any of that. I have to say that I am SO glad I never got a disease or pregnant...

    I have taught my kids (moreso my daughter at this point-she's older) that waiting is good, but if they are going to do it to come to me recently about it and we have the kind of relationship where once she decided she was ready- she did come to me and she is on birth control now. I do not think abstinence only is the right way to go. I think it is pretty unrealistic, and what happens if the kids are like I was- I hope they are as lucky
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:28 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • i participated in a program similar to TLW out of peer pressure. all the youth groups in my area were doing it & to not do it sent a bad message to the church & my family so i did it. the whole program was extremely creepy (pledging my virginity to my dad was so wrong). and while i did plan on waiting to have sex till i met the right person ive always found it stupid to not teach proper STD prevention w/ the thinking that no teen is going to have sex. luckily, i went to a DoDD high school so i had a great sex ed class that taught everything including that abstinence was the only 100% way not to get pregnant or an STD.

    i had sex before marriage & honestly never gave a second thought to the stupid pledges i gave that day (i flubbed on the pledge to God cause even as a teen that felt wrong). if a kid doesnt want to do it forcing them to isnt going to make them virgins till marriage...all it does is make the parents feel good.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 8:44 PM on May. 9, 2011

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