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5 Bumps

She ruined my dress!

My fiance bought me a dream wedding dress and last night I wanted to show it to the women of my family and his family to see it.

I left the room to get the veil and I left the dress on the maniquinn in the middle of the room where the ladies were, I heard screams and shouting so I ran back in thinking someone fell or something.

My soon to be 20 year old sister in law had spilled her damn kool aid on the bottom of my dress and little specks of red flew all the way to the bodice. I looked at her with tears welling in my eyes and my blood boiling and she had her hand to her mouth trying to hold back giggling. I know she did this on purpose. Her mother (soon to be mother -in-law) said oh accidents happen.

What am I marrying into? My fiance's mother is really like the mother on everybody love's raymond but evil. She doesn't like the way I do anything and she would always say when I didn't know how to do something to her son that "marrying for looks" and she would make a face. Like every woman in th world knows how to make baklava.

I took the dress to the cleaners first thing this morning and they don't know if they can save it, since it soaked it up all night despite me trying to clean it. I am beyond mad.

I love my fiance more that anything and he does stick up for me but he doesn't see the looks they give me and I don't want him to think I am at war with his family. All of his family loves me besides his mother and her youngest daughter (the bitch who ruined my dress).

I told my fiance what happened and he totally flipped and said she is not invited to the wedding and his mom is on thin ice. I don't want to be in a family that can't get along. My mom is dead and I want my future children to have a grandma.

the whole thing is a mess.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on May. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I'm sorry about your dress :( HUGS!
    Brandi300

    Answer by Brandi300 at 6:39 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Hon, once you marry him, you are YOUR OWN family. You aren't marrying his mother, sisters, brothers, father, aunts, uncles, cousins or grandparents. You are marrying HIM.
    I grew up a very long distance from all of my blood relatives, I never got to know my grandparents, but I had Richard & Ruth (Grampa Rich & Gramma Ruth)- They were as close to me as any grandparents could have been, and I will always love them.
    Our families are who we make them, who we decide to let in, who we love and care for- not who we are related to by blood. I have blood relatives that I would never allow near my children, while I have other "Family" who I have chosen to make a mainstay in my life. Take that into consideration and remember that you are marrying him, not his family.

    Now, for the SIL- I'd not say a single word to her. Do not give her the satisfaction of letting her get the best of you.

    I'm so sorry (((HUG)))
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 6:45 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Well it's a good thing your not marrying the FAMILY :) That horrible. Id make her pay to have something done with it. Take it to the cleaner. They have some magic stuff that takes out just about anything! Good lucky hun.
    jmgblair10

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 6:46 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I would tell the sister that if they can't get the mess that SHE made out of the dress, she WILL pay for it. If she doesn't, I would take it to civil court. And the MIL saying "accidents happen" it would be one thing if a 4 year old did it but a grown woman?????? And the fact that she did it on purpose, I wouldn't have her at the wedding if she doesn't pay for the dress without having to go to civil court
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 6:47 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • This will be hard. If it doesn't come out, you are going to have to bullshit your way through the high road. If she did it on purpose, -even if she didn't and she has no remorse- you will have to act like you just.don't.give.a.shit. You will have to act like the only thing that matters is that you are marrying the love of your life. You will have to act like you don't care. This will make you rise above them. This will make them batshit crazy. It's your only revenge.

    Now. I'm so sorry that your dress is ruined, and I understand completely the disappointment and sadness you probably feel. it's very important for the day to be perfect- and you probably paid a lot of money too. But you can't let them see that. That's exactly what they want.

    And in 10 years, when you still have your fabulous man, you will look back and wonder what was so intense. Weddings are so intense at the time, but as the years go by, you
    Saya

    Answer by Saya at 6:49 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • New in laws can be ass holes, my DH's aunt wore a white dress to our wedding.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 6:49 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • had your fiance backed his relatives after this I'd say run like H*ll. But is sounds like he's on your side.

    I usually don't say thing, but I'd keep at least the sister from the wedding too. If she's willing to do that, she may do something else to sabatoge things.

    I'm so sorry about your dress! Please keep us posted, and if it's any help, I wore a dress in las vegas that took a real beating after the wedding. I used the stair remover from dryel and it worked wonders.
    I hope they can save it!

    sounds like your future SIL has some real problems.
    Keep us posted!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 6:49 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Don't make any big decisions right now. Emotions are high and you're stressed. If the cleaners can't get the stain out THEY should pay to replace it. If the cleaners do get it out they should pay for the cleaning.

    As for marrying in to a hateful family...it is rough. People may try and tell you 'you aren't marrying the family"..Well, yeah you really are. It is a package deal. More than one MIL has driven a huge stake of discontent in a lot of marriages. It's good that he is on your side. You may have to agree to distance yourselves from them. My boys didn't really know their paternal grand parents very well. My Mom has always been there for them. Many, many years ago we met a couple older than us while out camping. Friendship grew and we became close. When my youngest was born they started telling the boys to call them Grandpa &Grandma. They did, and they could not have been bettter grands for my kids. cont'd
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:49 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • GPS don't have to be blood. As long as they are good role models, loving and in their lives. Good Luck,
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:50 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Wow! What a B R A T!! I hope you know that its only going to become worse once you are married to him. I was married to my ex for over 23 years and we only faught over his mother and older sister....good luck.....
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 8:53 PM on May. 9, 2011

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