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5 Bumps

Found him on a dating site, really?

I logged into my SO's profile on this site.....idk how to feel. I am going to confront him. I read the messages and they were actually innocent, he was just talking and making conversation. Some did mention that he is in that town for work but they didnt initiate contact or anything.
It's not technically cheating, it is definitely lying/betrayal. What would you do??

(Been together 4 years, have 1 child)

Answer Question
 
sassy_brizzy

Asked by sassy_brizzy at 8:17 PM on May. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,835 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • If my DH was on a dating site I would consider it cheating, personally.
    wendydays

    Answer by wendydays at 8:18 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I have heard of this a lot lately. I think that some men get insecure sometimes & use those dating sites to see if "they still have it". Of course, there could be other motives...but with the situations i have encountered...there isn't always a motivation to cheat. They just want some attention.....

    Is it immature? Yes...some men have a complex & need attention to feel good about themselves. It's more common than people think...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:19 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Thank you, i really do think it is that he wants more female attention. The part that really hurts is that i have seen it on his phone before and he lied to me about it. So its not just hiding it from me it's lying.... :-[
    sassy_brizzy

    Comment by sassy_brizzy (original poster) at 8:22 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • You went looking for a reason. You instincts were justified. Talk to him about it. Trust is hard to rebuild once it is broken.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:23 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I would create my own profile and contact him.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 8:23 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Cheating and I would ask why? Did you see the Dr. Phil about cheating ? those so called ladies had the nerve to blame the wife.
    sweet11-12

    Answer by sweet11-12 at 8:23 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • ouch...yes sometimes the lies can hurt much more. If i were you, I'd set up a secret account pretending to be a strange woman on his dating site & request to be his friend. This may help you figure out how far he plans on going with this....

    I had a friend do exactly that, but when it came down to it....he told "the other woman" that he wouldn't cheat on his wife.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:24 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Ya, trust is a biggie for me! I have a really hard time trusting men in general, i have given him freedom and this is what he did with it. I dont know how where to go from here. I love him but i dont wanna be stupid or nieve. I just wanna be happy and want whats best for our son.
    sassy_brizzy

    Comment by sassy_brizzy (original poster) at 8:26 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Umm... yeah he is on a dating site writing that he will be in a certain place at a certain time. Have a friend try and bate him! Not you.
    SeasideNative

    Answer by SeasideNative at 8:27 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I'd make copy's of everything I found sooner or later they could be used as evidence in court!!!! Yes he is cheating would i confront him well yes I did that we're divorced now so it's up to you be prepared for the worse because if he's shopping he's already got one foot out the door!!!

    traren

    Answer by traren at 8:28 PM on May. 9, 2011

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