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Do you practice gender-neutrality?

My son is four, my daughter is two. Right now, the only difference between the sexes they are aware of is that boys have a penis and testicles, and girls have a vagina. They share toys, clothes, activities. My son loves to parade around in dresses as much as he loves to play toy cars. My daughter, well, loves whatever it is my son is currently doing. I don't see any value in telling them what a boy is "supposed to be" or what a girl is "supposed to be", because I don't accept those ideas myself.


Asked by bishopblack at 11:34 PM on May. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,657 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (41)
  • I believe 100% in gender equality. The ONLY thing that I can see different between grown men and women is external physical differences... Mentally, Emotionally, Spiritually, we are equal. There is no reason for the assumptions that because they are male they "should be this" or because they are female they "should act like that." That kind of thinking is sexist, archaic and frankly quite offensive. I have two sons and a daughter, and they are all very much their own people. My daughter is to young to really have any gender identity, but my youngest son is happy to run around the house in my silk nighty, with purple toes and a purse over his arms... But he is absolutely in LOVE with the girl next door... My oldest likes to have a purse, but prefers a foot ball and would NEVER let me do his nails... And I don't see how one is any more "right" that the other - they are both exactly who they should be!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:48 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • Agreed, let them find their own identity. Kids need to be able to use their imagination...where ever that takes them.

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 11:35 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • My daughter will be 2 in June, and my son will be 5 in August. Generally we do practice gender-neutrality within our own home, but my son is starting to get some different ideas from the kids in his pre-k class, so we're doing our best to deal with that. For instance, he may come home and tell me that "only boys like Star Wars" because all the boys at his school like to pretend they have light sabers and the girls there simply aren't interested. I then have to point out that one of his little sister's favorite shirts has Yoda on it.

    It's a balance, but what's most important to me is that my kids feel secure with who they are, and never look down on others who might not fit typical gender roles.

    Answer by Eek_a_Geek at 11:44 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • I have tried to practice gender neutrality with my kids but my family has not. My son has lots of tools and trucks and my daughter has dolls and dresses. I buy according to what my son (2.5yo) is interested in and looks at when we are shopping. My daughter (8mo) loves to play with his toys, but also loves her doll. IMO it is best to follow your kids' cues and let them explore their personality and explain why it is important to be accepting and open minded about life.

    Answer by bugfin at 12:13 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • When we had kids, it wasn't a big deal. My oldest daughter was a tomboy--still is--and if she wanted sports equipment for her birthday, that was fine. I don't see it as a big deal. I think there is too much "thinking" going on and people are getting way too serious about "gender identity". I always just let my kids be who they wanted to be and I didn't even consider "gender" ....but that was in the 1970-'s before  started going wacko about everything. Lets all just calm down,OK?


    Answer by minnesotanice at 12:53 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on May. 9, 2011

  • When I was pregnant with my son I wanted him to have every type of toy and even a play kitchen but for some reason he has always hated girl stuff. When he was 2, I gave him a baby doll and he threw it, he has always hated girl stuff and even the color pink. His daycare as a baby was all boys and now he's in kindergarten and those same boys are in his class and there is only 2 girls out of the 25 kids. My oldest is a girl and when she was a kid she loved boy stuff she even had a bedroom theme of "Jurassic Park" at the age of 6. I follow my kids lead for what they prefer and do not get in the way of that.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:06 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • My thought is since I only have boys I will not buy them dolls or dresses.

    Answer by momavanessa at 12:27 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • If I had a son and he wanted a doll or dress or play dishes, I would let him

    If my daughter wants tools and trucks then she may have those.

    Answer by amgillis88 at 12:53 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • We don't practice gender neutrality because we simply do not enforce the societal standards of gender. Gender is not brought up in my household. You can be whatever you want. My spouse is transgender. I am genderfluid. Ergo, my children see it all. They have no real concept of gender.

    Answer by purpleducky at 7:56 AM on May. 10, 2011