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How to avoid the situation when my family members take advantage of me.

I m a working mother of 3 years old son. He stays at day care for eight hours and when i go back to home i take him along. i dont get time to spend with him coz my in laws take advantage of me and keep asking me favours and occupied me so after office hours (because my mother in law, sister in law with her two kids and my brother in law) i cant concentrate on my son. If i set my objectives after office hours than what could these be any idea please?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 AM on May. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I'm not exactly sure what your asking but it seems to me you need to ask yourself what's more important. Spending time with your son or letting your in laws take advantage of you? I know it's hard, but there comes a time when you have to put your foot down and make decisions that are best for YOU.

    Answer by Twilight_Mama at 3:56 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Don't answer the phone. If they come to your door don't answer....later you can tell them that you were taking a shower or that you went out with your son, etc. Eventually they'll get the message. Remember one thing though your family is your family. We all need space and time. Hope things get better and you get to "organize" your time with your son and your family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • If i were in this situation i would have to sit my in laws down and tell them that the time after work is completely dedicated to my son or you can set aside a day where they can ask for things but IMO time with my child comes before anything and i tend to have selective hearing when it comes to phone calls and door knocking during my family time hope things get better

    Answer by krissii at 4:55 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Everyone's answers here are right, It wont stop until you put your foot down. I'm one of those people myself ,that go out of my way for everyone else, I have a hard time saying NO! It's not always easy cause I don't want to hurt peoples feelings but when it comes to your child and needing his mother, you have to speak up! Tell your family your noticing a difference in your son and that you'd like to be able to help them but he needs you. If they care about the two of you, they'll understand.


    Answer by anichols1 at 5:44 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • I agree with the previous answers. You need to simply tell your in-laws that on days you work full-time, your first priority is to be with your son. You can compromise with them and offer other times to help them out. If they don't understand, too bad; it's their problem. If they're loving, they will understand and encourage you. Avoiding their phone calls and visits will only cause more problems in the long run, but if they don't accept and respect your wishes head-on, then you have to do what you need to do to shut them out when necessary.

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:41 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Dont Think that way

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 7:42 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • You need to accept responsibility for this problem. You are not setting and enforcing boundaries in your relationships with your inlaws.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:18 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • No one can take advantage of you without your permission. Learn to say "No" and mean it.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 8:34 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • I've got a relative like this. Or at least that's her interpretation. When get togethers are organized she goes on about what a wonderful idea it is to do things this way or that way. Then later on she pins herself to a cross because things were done exactly that way.

    You said it yourself. You're being asked to do things. if you don't want to do it, than don't agree to it.
    Sorry but you sound like someone who does things than complains about it later. you've got no one to blame but yourself. If your inlaws can't care for themselves than talk to your husband about making arrangements fro someone else to do it. It may all sound tough, but these are your choices. So make a choice and stick with it or be quiet.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on May. 10, 2011

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