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My 3 year old HATES underwear - only will wear pull-ups -help!

I feel like he would be closer to being completly potty trained if her would wear underwear, but he refused - i've gotten all sorts of characters, did the don't you wanna be like daddy and wear big boy undies. No I wear pull-up if i try to put them on he freaks. what can i do?

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Asked by nurse_maya at 4:06 AM on May. 10, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 15 (1,980 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • You LO says "No I want to wear pull ups" that's so nice. I would let your child be. Trust me he will transition. Don't worry too much.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • yes he says "no I wear pull-ups"

    Comment by nurse_maya (original poster) at 4:17 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • who rules the roost here? At three it is now a power struggle. Tell him you will not provide pullups, and give him his underwear, if he doesnt want to put it on he can go commando..but he will never refuse pull ups as long as you provide them for him.I went thru tis with my stepson when I was training him. When he saw I meant business, he started wearing underwear and staying dry and clean..good luck!

    Answer by shivasgirl at 4:31 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • well i am also walking a thin line here since he was sexually abused less then a year ago - I don't want to traumatize him further with overly forceful training

    Comment by nurse_maya (original poster) at 4:37 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • you dont have to be forceful, just matter of fact. Tell him pull ups are taking money away from the family for toys and fun things and you will not buy them anymore. When I did this with my step son he was two months in our home, after a 9 month stint in a foster home because he had been removed from his mother's care due to drug exposure and abuse. He is almost 8 and functions on the level of a 4 year old. I understand about the thin line, believe me. When you are dealing with an already fragile psyche you dont want to be the bad guy. BUT, you dont want to be a push over and let him get away with murder because of what he has already been thru. And I know how hard that is because you hurt for him. You have to not let this become a power struggle and just let him know how it will be, if he is on board, great, if not he may run around nekkid or underwearless in his clothes for a few days, but he will come around

    Answer by shivasgirl at 4:56 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • I'll give it a try when these run out - thank you you are a good person for doing what you did.

    Comment by nurse_maya (original poster) at 5:03 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Stop buying pull up and tell him there is no more pull ups you only have underwear. You are the parent not your child.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:57 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Just get rid of the pull ups! Then he doesn't have choice in the matter. Simple.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 12:59 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • Hos therapist today recommended against pushing him into anything like underwear at this point - with the sexual abuse potty training will be a touchy issue and any extra pressure will likely cause a set back in therapy thank you all for your imput - on a normal child without his history i would take your advice, but not here

    Comment by nurse_maya (original poster) at 4:33 AM on May. 11, 2011

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