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2 Bumps

Is lying to your spouse for 7 yrs reason for divorce?

I have been married for 7 years and my dh has lied to me about the same issue because "he didn't want to hurt me" for the entire time of our marriage. Do you believe this is a good enough reason for divorce? Since August (the 1st time I left him) we have been on and off again but then I get lonely so I take him back.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on May. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • what did he lie to you about?
    buttonlts

    Answer by buttonlts at 10:55 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • It depends on what the lie was about and if the relationship is strong enough to move past it or not.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:55 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • First if you want to leave someone,permanently you can run back to them just cuse you get lonely. Depending on what the lie was and how you felt about it, would determine if it was grounds for divorce.

    Liamsmom09

    Answer by Liamsmom09 at 10:56 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • It would really depend on what the lie was.
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 11:02 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Well the lie was about what he was doing. He has a porn addiction. Not just a fetish with it like normal people, he will actually choose porn over being intimate with me. He has looked at it online, on his phone and had magazines and DVDs (which my 10 yr old found several times) and then lies and hides it. I was brought up in church so I don't approve of the porn but if he was just honest it would have been different. Now I can't trust his word about anything.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:02 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • depends on the lie. and if its bad enough for you to leave him to begin with then apparently its a lie that you can't get over or forgive. So make your mind up and stop going back and forth. He thinks awwww she left me before but she keeps coming back so lonliness is just an excuse.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 11:06 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • My husband struggles with the same addiction. I feel bad that your son found it (thankfully my almost 10 year-old son and 9 year old daughter haven't come across it). So I understand your struggles and like you I don't approve of it either. My husband, because it's an addiction, has sought help and is doing "better" at avoiding his addiction problem, but at times he slips. I don't think its worth divorcing over..... Just get the help you both need to work through it.
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 11:08 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • If he hasn't quit lying to you in seven years he never will. This becomes a trust issue and if there is lack of trust in a relationship the relationship will never work. It's more than enough reason to divorce. Do not go back because you are lonely this only perpetuates your acceptance of his behavior. Leave and stay gone.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 11:10 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Well a word of advice. A marriage can not grow and mature into a endless relationship based on lies.
    A couple should be able to tell each other everything good or bad, My first husband lied to me for 12 years and my second husband 16 years. And those marriages both ended not to lies but mental and verbal abuse. I believe in forgiveness and its ok to get upset and have a problem with the lies, Its normal to feel betrayed by your mate. I would get marriage counseling if you really Love this man. Maybe he has a problem with lying some people do its sad but true. I also feel it depends on what he has lied about to you, if it is another woman then I would not stay in a relationship with a person that did not think I was the world, Good Luck and I'm sorry your hurting.
    Tamara
    panky

    Answer by panky at 11:15 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • He doesn't want the help. He believes that just stopping will do just fine for him but it hasn't worked in 7 yrs. When I confront him he gets so angry that he has slammed his phone on the floor at my 5 yr olds feet. It scared my youngest so bad that he started crying. He has actually gotten worse than that before. It scares my kids and me sometimes.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:16 AM on May. 10, 2011

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