Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

What a b****!

My 4 year old son loves books and puzzles and my sister in law always has to say something about it. She never says anything about how good he is in his little football league or how may shots he made in basketball. When we went to the toy store with her and her family my son said "I want to go check out the books first" and she said "oh my god" like it was a bad thing. What is so wrong with my son liking books and learning?

She actually told me that I better toughen him up. What the hell does that mean? I'm not going to try and "toughen" my son up by making him fit into this dumb jock role she has in her head. Her kids are so self involved and she never read to them or instilled knowledge into them.

I've tried to stay non-controntational because my hubby just got his relationship back with his family and I don't want to rock the already fragile boat. This kind of thing would make him disconnect from them again.

What should I tell her so she'll just drop all this nonsense? I'm so tired of her attitude and rude tone.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on May. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Tell her that you don't apperciate her comments! That is just rude and it sounds like she is just jealous that your child is smart!

    You don't have to discourage him from what he likes. If she wont stop with the comments stop going with her to the store and places.

    I understand your husband just got his family back but you need to stand up for your son.


    Answer by momavanessa at 11:31 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • I don't see anything wrong with your son at all. I love when kids have an interest in books and puzzles. I am so proud that my son loves books too. Next she says something I would ask her what is so wrong with your child reading. Maybe she should worry more about her own children than yours.

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 11:33 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • That would majorly bother me, too. If she wants to raise her kids to scoff education, that is her business, but there is no reason for putting down someone on the road to a successful academic career. My guess is, actually, that her kids were slow on the cognitive milestones so she creates a world where all "learning" is bad, so she can feel better about where her kids are. Most of us would spend time with our child and help them learn . . . she is not one of those people and that is sad.

    I might just say something like, "A strong academic foundation is associated with more success and higher wages later on. I am giving my son that advantage. Besides, he'll have plenty of time to play when he's older and he gets through a homework assignment in 20 minutes instead of three hours it will take the others who do not understand."

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 11:33 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Just explain that you ENCOURAGE your son to read, because he will be a better student overall. There's no need to make him feel like less of a boy (I can't believe kids have to deal with this sh*&) because some adult thinks boys are all the same, and he has to fit some mold. Reading is a GREAT pass-time. Children who enjoy reading have better imaginations, stronger verbal skills (generally speaking, of course) and higher scores on standardized tests. She just doesn't understand that molds are made to be broken, and so are noses. She better be glad you're trying not to confront her, because I certainly wouldn't be so nice.

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 11:35 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • put distance between you .... stop hanging out with her as if ya'll have to be bff. Say your got stuff to do, or dont answer the phone everytime she calls, and when u r around her and she starts making assy comments..... make them back at her. like I'm glad ds loves books, He'll get a better education verses the jocks, have you ever noticed that the majority of jocks have tutors???? see if saying something like that would make her back off. (lol)

    Answer by kkbird at 11:37 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • I would say "No....I love my son the way he is"

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:40 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Been there done that with inlaws myself, you can tell her how you feel but it isn't gonna change her way of thinking, but it will make you feel better :D, I think reading would be more important than how tough a kid was but to each their own, I have had my children talked about also because I read to them and teach them that learning is very important, my 2 year old is amazing at how fast she learns things and is reading simple words now, has been singing songs since age 1, and my inlaws say I am a liar or their kids can do that plus this and this and this, it is crazy at the amount of time they put into lies,taking down about my kids and making fun of them, but I just laugh and say sweep your door step before you come to mine, I am sorry she is being this way but try having a heart to heart, if that doesn't work ,limit the time you spend with her, you don't need her drama..

    Answer by momto4girzls at 11:41 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • Tell her it takes more than 'jocks' to run the world and your son is going to be a thinker!

    Answer by meooma at 11:45 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • I would say (sarcastically of course) "you're right maybe i should "toughen him up" so he can be perfect like your kids" She may not even realize how ignorant she sounds by making those comments and definitely NEEDS it pointed out to her in a way she can understand.

    Answer by Genice6 at 11:46 AM on May. 10, 2011

  • I would let her know how you feel. My son is into books and puzzels and I am glad for that. You have a smart kid and don't let anyone put that down about him. Just because he is interested in those does not make him any less tougher than others!

    Answer by EZamora at 11:48 AM on May. 10, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.