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any advice,my eldest son is 12 and is driving me crazy,so moody and angry and is quite nasty to his younger siblings, is this normal or should I take him to see a counselor/Dr?

HELP,moody tween driving me nuts

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momof413

Asked by momof413 at 12:48 PM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (11)
  • Honestly, i think it is normal. At that age their hormones are going nuts, so it is like PMS times 10 plus the fact that most of them do not know why they are feeling the way they are and so do not know how best to handle it, and of course refuse to ask. Good luck. I would personally recommend that you find something that just you and him can do outside the home for a little while, get him relaxed and then try to talk about how he is doing and see if he opens up.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 12:56 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • surrenderI am dealing with the same thing. I want to ring his neck most of the time. I am running my butt off between school band and Basketball and the rest of his activities and he will just drop his laundry and towel anywhere! His dishes on table! I say something to him and he either cries or he gets angry! His brother and sister are always at the wrong end of his emotions! Good luck

    mazzoncini-mom

    Answer by mazzoncini-mom at 1:11 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Thanks,it's a relief to know he's "normal" but it's so frustrating,the good thing is he does aknowledge his behavior and gets very emotional too but he won't talk about what's bothering him as he claims he doesn't know so guess hormones are a big part of this, I'm just surprised,really believed(wrongly) that the teenage years would be eaiser with boys!! Hopeful that by the time my youngest son(have 4 kids, 3 boys, one girl) is at this age I'll be an expert ;)My husband and I have both siad that we do need to try and give him more one on one time with either one of us but it's so hard,hubby travels a lot for work but maybe over the christmas break we will try and owrk something out.
    momof413

    Answer by momof413 at 1:20 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Out of 6 kids my 12 year old boy is by far the meanest, most rude, physical, verbal child I have, he is very cruel and does not care who he is mean to, or hurts. We make him do constructive things when he has his little outbursts like push ups (he was in football) or write an essay about things, for example *Since you want to be the boss of the house tell me how you will handle things, include where we will live, how we will get food, what we will do for money and transportation, how you will handle the kids when they act badly, how you will praise them when they are good etc* You will be suprised by his essays, and it will help you to understand him better as well as believe it or not I learned some things from the essays =)

    Good Luck!
    heavens1stlight

    Answer by heavens1stlight at 4:22 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • We have a 14 year old and 4 year old in our house. Unfortunately it's normal. Remember back to when you were a teen...and if you had younger sibs you can remember how it was always having a little one wanting to be in your stuff, always wanting to be around you and doing the things that you were doing. Your son is acting out of what I've heard some say self defense. He is laying claim to what is his now, his domain, and that is normal. He's coming into an age where he doesn't want to be bothered or looked at as a child, though he acts like one. No counseling is going to help. Just take each day at a time and keep his attitude in check. Remind him that his younger sibs are looking up to him and will do and say everything he does. Best of wishes!
    bamamommy

    Answer by bamamommy at 10:12 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • It's normal for a boy his age, his hormones are running wild. This is a very delicate age for boys (as for girls). The most important thing to do is to REMAIN CALM!!! lol (I know that's hard). Boys can be emotionally hurt alot more by their mom's than anyone else so be conscious of how you handle the situation. With my oldest son, whenever he is mean to his brothers or sisters or is just crabby I calmly pull him aside and explain to him that I know his little brother irritates him, I know his sisters drive him nuts but he has to learn how to react to them in the appropriate way.
    MrsHart6

    Answer by MrsHart6 at 9:19 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • cont....If he's just having a "bad day" than I suggest some quiet time for him to gather himself and calm down (even if that means giving him an extra turn on the game system. Sometimes a timeout on the steps is necessary and I have him write down why he's angry and what the proper way to handle frustration is. I also "catch him being good" and praise him for times when he shows gentleness, compassion or love. He will eventually get a hold on his hormones and as long as you thoughtfully handle this (putting your own frustrations aside) he will be ok :-)
    MrsHart6

    Answer by MrsHart6 at 9:19 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Normal. My son is 11 and he's doing it too. I have a 10 year old and 4 year old and he gets easily annoyed with them also. I find his attitude when I ask him to do something to be extremely annoying, but he seems to get over it quickly when I remind him that he is not too old to be grounded! This is usually followed by a quick apology! :)
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 11:02 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • It's normal. My daughter will be 13 in Feb and she is just the same. Very moody and can be very snotty at times. I'm sure we all went through it, too and it will pass, thank God!
    MomW773

    Answer by MomW773 at 8:43 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I am so glad you posted this. I am having the same stuff go on with my 12 year old. I almost thought he was evil or maybe I did something wrong as a mother. This is probably normal. Mine is always so angry with everything, like no one could ever please him, I always tell him if I tried to give him the sun he'll say, well where's the moon. He thinks I'm so uncool even though I'm only 28. All I can say is just try to hang in there and praise him on the little things. That's been helping me a lot.
    elizabethdaisy

    Answer by elizabethdaisy at 1:58 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

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