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3 Bumps

How do you tell your father you are?

He is crazy and he does everything for you because you are his baby girl so get any thing that you want. you know that he will not approve of you being pregnant but your mom is ok with it but you think your father will dis own you and not help you and possibly make things harder for you in life i just need some kind of advice.

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lashyia13

Asked by lashyia13 at 12:09 PM on May. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • It's time to stop "getting anything you want" from him and tell him he is going to be a grandfather. If you are a big enough person to be a parent then you need to be a big enough person to tell your father this. Try telling him in a happy way so that he doesn't think it's such a bad thing or that it was a mistake (not that it was). If you are happy about it then he should be happy about it.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 12:12 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • 1st off, how old are you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • You have to tell him, you know eventually he's going to find out, especially when you start to show. If it were me, I would just tell him and get it over with. My dad is the exact same way.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 12:14 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • I was 20 when I got pregnant but still living with my parents so I had to face it when I told them. In retrospect I believe my mother already told my father because when I finally told him he didn't seemed surprised and already had a little speech prepared about moving in with my boyfriend and raising the baby on our own, etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • Well with my dad I just called him and told him that we had 'news' and he kind of guessed the rest. He was happy for us, and even happier when the grandsons were born. (It also helped that I had been married for a few years, I was over 21 and had a job, and my own home-- so my dad never had to worry he would have more mouths to support)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • Try telling him with your mom, or a family friend or clergy member. Someone whose presence might make him not say things he will honestly regret later, but may feel he has to follow through on.

    And then just tell him. You can say something like "I know this is a big adjustment, but I want you to know
    how excited I am to be a mother (if this is true)
    how much I love you
    how much your support means to me..."

    If you do have clergy or a counselor (I'm not sure how old you are but you are never too old for wise counsel!!), not only is having them with you perhaps a good idea, but talking to them ahead of time and afterwards if it doesn't go optimally could be really beneficial.
    KateDinVA

    Answer by KateDinVA at 12:26 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • you could do what my friend did.
    She left him a card saying 'you're getting a grandchild ' and went to stay with her friends for a few days.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:01 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • If your father doesnt want to be there for you than that would be unfortunate. It is possible that he could be mad at first but, time heals all things. He will come around. Depending on your situation and age possibly could play a factor in on how mad he will get but, give it time and he will come back around. But, do understand that having a child now means that he may or may not do as much for you as he once did because you have to start taking responsiblity and preparing yourself physically and mentally to take care of your own child and not expect him to keep taking care of you. Being a parent is a new level of responsibilities that only the parent child endure. Its nice to get help but, in reality, dont expect it very much. I hope that you are preparing yourself now so that in case you dont get the help from your father like you expect that you will still be able to handle being a mother on your for your child.
    momofonewntmore

    Answer by momofonewntmore at 2:12 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • that is hard. my mother pulled me to side to ask me because she found pamphlets from clinics and had to come out and tell her. she told my dad and my dad didn't speak to me for a long time or really until i had my baby. thanksgiving and christmas was so weird, he made sure he opened his gifts before anyone else so he could lock himself in his room. but when i had that baby OMG, he couldn't have been more happier and always wanted the baby to come over. so your father will be hurt and disspointed (depending your age and circumstances) but he will get over it once you have that baby.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 2:40 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • I'm sure when he's sees your baby, all those negative feelings will go away and he'll be proud of what you have done. Good luck!!
    Ttcbabyclegg

    Answer by Ttcbabyclegg at 4:01 PM on May. 10, 2011

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