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2 Bumps

12 yr old responsability, feeling guilty...

This morning my dd, was dressed for a field trip at school today. On the way, I mentioned its Tuesday, my dd was like.. really.. my field trip is on wednesdy, so we had to turn around, go back home to change into her uniform for school today. We suppost to stop at my moms work to get a premission form for a different field trip. I told her, we couldn't stop, wed already turned around once. She left this paper at my moms house yesterday.
So, I get to work at 8, on time.. no problem..
At 8:15 - she calls me from school, stating that she needed the premission slip out of my moms cars, that field trip was today. SO, she expected me to leave work, go get premission form and bring it to her - all in 15 minutes.
I told her No, she should be more organized. She has a planner the school gave her and one that id bought. We've gone to counseling earlier this year, to help with school, cuz she just seems lazy and not doing her school work. She thinks, oh I have a 70, I passed and its all good. She did what she needed for the counselor and has gone back down again. So, I know, she can do the work.
So, this morning, my thoughts were, she can't remember homework and does her assigement half way. She can sit and think about that stuff, while her class goed on a field trip.

Do you expect your 6th, going into 7th grader to be more organized..
Was I wrong to make her sit out and stay at school?
Its driving me crazy, but I'm an organized person so I want to know if I'm asking to much for her age.

 
SassySue123

Asked by SassySue123 at 12:24 PM on May. 10, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 22 (15,145 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I expect that from all my kids and they are in 5th, 3rd and 2nd. But especially from the oldest who is going into middle school. She is expected to be organized and remember her own things. If it's something important she is supposed to tell me to write it on the calendar. I don't make runs to the school for anything. If they forgot something at home too bad, they should have remembered it. I don't have a car and it's a 2 mile walk to the school. I REFUSE to do it. If she forgets something (which was an issue in 4th grade) she is expected to explain to her teacher why she forgot it.
    My 2nd grader has been forgetting her homework. Only once did I bring it in for her and that's because I happened to have to go to the office to register my youngest dd for school otherwise it would have been late again. She's capable of putting her homework in her bag when she's done.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:14 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • It CAN feel guilty/bad/sad teaching a child about the adult world. if you forget your marriage license at the alter you can't get married. forget your insurance card the dr might not see you. and no permission slip no field trip. life rules. gotta learn 'em and you are the enforcer.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 2:10 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • Don't feel guity your daughter needs to learn responsibility. Your were discussing this with her that morning. Sounds like you have been working with her on this for a while, She just learned a very important lesson. (hopefully). in the future I would suggest marking important dates on the calender for your family. This way the whole family will be reminded. I am a mom of four twin boys who are 7 a 18 year old who is graduating this June and a 20 year old.  You can imagine how hectic it can get.  I am a SAHM so I have extra time to focus on that kind of stuff.


     

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 12:59 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • I agree that it's a good idea to have a master calendar on these things. As for 'what about when she's in college' she's not in college she's still a kid.

    As for you needing to leave work to take care of all this, I think you did what you have to do. In this economy you can't mess around with your job.

    But I think in the future you should oversee things a bit better. you are the adult, and she's not yet.

    right or wrong, I'd expect her to be mad as h*ll for the next 10 years or so.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • I would have tried to call, because at least at my district, if you talk with the receptionist, she will hand write that she has had verbal contact with you, and you approve.

    Other than that, no, I don't think it is crazy to expect a child to have some responsibility. Not going is a really natural consequence to not getting your stuff to your mother and submitted on time. It probably won't happen next time.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 1:12 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • I would have written the FT on our master calendar so we all would have been on the same page. It's your job as the Mom to keep everyone on task. You need to help her with this, even into High School. Now she is singled out and not included in the group at school. So, no she won't be thinking about being organized, she will be thinking about being left out. The actual reason why will be lost on her, and when she looks back it will be a sore memory, not a learning experience. Sorry, but that's how kids think, you can't change that.

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 12:35 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • i don't expect my son to keep up with everything. i'm the mom, i send reminders to everyone. i just had to call my 34 year old husband to remind him of his dentist appt. if it were me i wouldve had the permission slip sent in the day after it was sent home
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:44 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • So, when do you expect your kids be responsable and learn for themself? Are you going to there in college, to make sure they get to each class on time. When do you cut the cord?
    My son is in the fifth grade, going into Boy scouts. I'm told that I'm not to help him so much.. its his responsablity to get his gear together, etc...
    SassySue123

    Comment by SassySue123 (original poster) at 12:46 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • I can't send back what she doesn't give me.. she took it out of her backpack at my mothers house and didn't bring it home for me to sign.
    SassySue123

    Comment by SassySue123 (original poster) at 12:52 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • You don't remember everything and yes it gets to a point where the child should know to remember, like test and homework ect...So you did the right thing
    ttk2

    Answer by ttk2 at 1:24 PM on May. 10, 2011