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How old should young people when they first get to date?

This questions has reared its head again quite a few times in the last few weeks. Since I have grandchildren, I wonder how parents today are handling this.

With my children, they were allowed to go places with special persons (not girlfriends or boyfriends, but girl or boy "friends") when they were 12, but I, or my husband, or both had to be involved in the activity. When they reached 14 they were allowed to "group" date, parties, dances, etc (after we check things out, and talked with parents about supervision for parties). They were free to date at 16, but with a curfew.

They didn't always get it right. But they were in "social" school, learning how to conduct them in social context. Our children were raised with the idea that they could go anywhere and be with any persons, and know how to behave properly. They would know how to sit at a table and with utensil to use. They would know how to make small talk, and how to listen. If they crashed and burned in the learning, then we picked them up and started over again.

What is your idea about kids dating?

 
Rowesbud

Asked by Rowesbud at 1:23 PM on May. 10, 2011 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Dating - Dating 16.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:26 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • I'm pretty much on the same page as you, group "dates" and what not around 14, and actual dates at 16 (provided one of the kids has the ability to drive them back and forth legally). My parents always knew where we were, who we were with, and had a way of getting ahold of us. I plan on doing the same when my kids hit that age.
    FatGirl239

    Answer by FatGirl239 at 1:27 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • 18
    IMO dating is for finding your future mate
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:26 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • Mine are not allowed to date until age 16. They do group activities with both genders but are not allowed to have a boyfriend until after age 16. They have learned to keep boys in the realm of "freind" and be able to act appropriately during a time when hormones are running amuck in their body.
    vampporcupine

    Answer by vampporcupine at 1:29 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • My rules are exactly like yours.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 1:36 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • No dating until he graduates high school and is out of my house. I was up front with my son on my wishes and why I think it is important to wait until he he older. I told him that you have the rest of your life for girls and high school should be about you and having fun. He was active in a lot of clubs and sports so he really didn't have time for girlfriends anyway. He said that he thought some girls at his school are cute but he didn't know if he had time for a girlfriend. He liked hanging out with all of his other firends at my house though. There were some girls but I always kept a watchful eye on them all. He is now a sophmore in college and he has a lovely goal oriented girlfriend who also attends the college.

    kids don't need all of the complication and stress of relationships when their teenagers, they should just be enjoying being a kid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • i'd say once they are in high school..
    lynnlang

    Answer by lynnlang at 2:32 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • Group stuff I would allow around 15 or so but I would not allow dating until they were 18. The world is just too crazy these days.. If they wanted to come to out home however and hang out, not in the bedroom but you know study, watch television that sort of stuff I would allow at 16.
    gutterflower585

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 4:28 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • Thank you all for your answers. I don't disagree with no dating until after high school, but that does put another pressure this day and age on the kids - that's why I would still opt for group dating. There are way too many bullies out there who might label the non-interactive adolescent. Still, you seem to have been successful. Congratulations.

    I also agree dating should be for the purpose of finding you future wife. Taking that a step further, the group events, group dating lets a young person learn what makes him/her happiest, what kind of person they would look for, how different people respond in social functions.

    My final word would be that if they are responsible to learn the intricacies of driving a vehicle responsibllty, in an adult fashion, then they are old enough to be trusted to learn how to behave properly in social context. We are there when they fall and help them up again.
    Rowesbud

    Comment by Rowesbud (original poster) at 11:26 PM on May. 10, 2011