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I need help with ways I can emotionally support my aunt through her marriage trouble

My aunt and uncle have been married for over 30 years, they have a 29 year old daughter and their son turns 26 next month. Like most marriages they've had their ups and down and even split a couple times when my cousins were young but they've always been able to work things out without even the consideration of a divorce. However recently my aunt confided in me and another one of my cousins that she believes her marriage is over this time. She discovered my uncle has been texting and receiving nude photos from a 24 year old woman; my aunt confronted my uncle and told him she'd be willing to work things out if he no longer had any contact with this other woman - my uncle refused and said he had to have this other woman in his life even if she was just a friend. Supposedly he has not slept with her but my aunt believes he will eventually begin a sexual relationship with her if he has not yet done so. So my aunt has decided if their marriage is not important enough to my uncle that he won't stop talking and/or seeing this woman than it isn't important enough to her either. She hasn't yet filed any papers but changed her relationship status on all her social networking sites as separated and told me that it's only a matter of time before either her or my uncle moves out of the house. I'm at a loss for words to help comfort her during this time and would appreciate any help.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on May. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I feel really bad for your aunt. What a terrible thing for a marriage of that long a standing to end. It must be like she's lost a best friend :( And with the circumstances she's facing, too, its even worst :( Invite her over, have a girl's night with her and a few friends so she can feel like she can vent and talk about it. Call her randomly, send her texts, let her know you are thinking about her. My sisiter's marriage just ended, and there is a preiod of mourning afterward where the couple just needs to have people around them that love them and understand them. It sounds like she has a wonderful niece in you :) I hope everything works out for her.

    Answer by alphamom26 at 3:16 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • All you can do is be there for her to vent to. Just listen to her.

    Answer by meooma at 3:27 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • Outside of illegal activities, like assaulting that 24 year old, there's not much you can do. Just be there for her. Maybe take her to the day spa?

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 3:43 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • @Ms.Gwen - the thought of smacking that girl has crossed my mind and I've wanted the beat the crap out of my uncle too, he's the one relative that has never really been close as opposed to the rest of my large family who have all been really close my entire life but I never thought he'd ruin the relationship with not just the one woman who has stuck by him through all of his mistakes (like a brief period of drug use, and getting fired by punching a guy who talked crap about my grandfather when he died) but who also supported him while he went through cancer treatment 10 years ago but I've talked to my cousins and neither can even look at their father - they won't speak to him and I don't blame them considering their father is basically choosing a woman who is younger than them over their mother.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:04 PM on May. 10, 2011

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