Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PLACING A PARENT INTO A NURSING HOME ?

I am a 28 yr old mom of 4 kids.I also done inhomedaycare until recently.I am taking care of my mom who is at 300lbs and cant even roll over on her own.I did quit babysitting,because there would be times I was cooking dinner for 13 people on a reg basis.I was staying up all night no being able to sleep,so I went to the doctor and discovered I have severe depression and anxiety brought on by stress. I have panic attacks that scare me.My kids are suffering too.I dont want to do anything with them,I want to be left alone.I am on some low meds and stopped babsitting,to help,now I finally broke down and my mom is leaving in the morning to go to one.We will be seeing her,they can get her out of the bed.We cried alot because I thought she would hate me,but she seem to undertood.I do feel guilty because I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder.I know I made the right choice,but I feel like I should be able to suck it up and do everything for everyone,but Im not wonderwoman.

Answer Question
 
4mom247

Asked by 4mom247 at 10:14 PM on Jul. 10, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I know how that is. Not with my mom but with my grandma. The nursing home wouldnt take her though so she would go into the hospital for a while so we could get a break. she would usually stay a week or 2 than come home. The last time we sent her she was so sick that she ended up passing away in there and a week before she passed the nursed droped her even after they had orders to leave her in bed and the broke her leg. my grandma was much larger though about 4-500 pounds she weighed 400 but could gain 100 pounds water weight overnight. so its tough but as long as you let her know you love her and let her know your not giving up on her things should be ok. i know a lot of times my grandma thought we sent her there cause we didnt care about her anymore but we told her that if we didnt care we wouldnt be there everyday like we were to visit her. So it will get better. Just keep strong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Stay strong. You did the right thing. And your mother showed you that you are doing the right thing. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean that you aren't human. Humans get tired. Don't beat yourself about this cause it can be more stressing than having her there with you. Do things for yourself now and take some YOU time and you will come to see that you are so much more than you give yourself credit for. Keep your head up.
    happyperson507

    Answer by happyperson507 at 11:21 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • You're not wonder woman and no one expects you to be. You did do a great thing, though and helped your mom for a while in your home. Pat yourself on the back. Get some rest and regroup.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 12:47 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Give yourself credit...you tried, I'm sure your mom understands, you can visit her often and take the kids to see her. None of us is superwoman...let yourself off the hook!
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 3:22 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.