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MIL's Mother's Day

Okay, yet another blow up!!! Happens every time there is a holiday. My MIL approached me about a month ago about a Mother/Daughter Princess Tea Party at her local library (scheduled for Saturday) and asked if WE wanted to take my girls. My MIL is notorious for using my children for her own emotional needs. I desperately wanted to take them by myself as I work FT and do not get very much time with them. I knew she would be upset so I decided to not take them at all so she did not get her feelings hurt. My DH told her that I was not taking them. That night, he comes home and says that he and his mother are taking them for her Mother's Day. I was extremely upset but tried to let it go. After thinking it over I decided to tell my MIL that I wanted to take them myself ALONE and try to explain why. My DH decided that he would tell her. To say the least I am the DEVIL!! She proceeds to tell me that it is HER library and HER library program at which point I lost it and started yelling at her. Later, I did apologize for yelling at her but we have not yet sat down and talked about it. I personally do not feel that it was appropriate for her to even suggest taking my kids to a Mother/Daughter event. Dispite the fight, I did take them and there was not one grandparent there. While I do understand that it was on Saturday and not on actural Mother's day it was still a Mother/Daughter event. I'm I being overly sensative? She watches the kids on Thursdays and Fridays and has a chance to do special things with them all the time. I only get Saturday and Sunday! If it was grandparents day I would never even think of inviting myself and feel like I deserve the same respect! On her birthday in January, she was babysitting my kids and I set up a little tea party for them while I was at work. Its not like I don't do special things for her.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on May. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (1)
  • If she sees them two days a week and your only full days with them are on the weekends then I think you are right in wanting that time to do things with your girls on your own. I think where you got into trouble is not just telling her this up front. She thought she was going to be able to take them and then was disappointed not to be able to which is understandable. I would sit down with her and explain to her that you are sorry for losing your cool but you do stand by the fact that you want to do things one on one with your children on the weekends because your time for that is limited during the week. It's not that you want to keep her out, it's just that you need to make time alone with them a priority or it will never happen.

    Answer by MaryMW at 5:03 PM on May. 10, 2011

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