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Why does he do this?

My husband whom I love very much cant seem to relax these days. I try to do everything here at home because he works two jobs. I am currently looking for a job but it is tough. When he is home he nit picks about everthing. I know he is under a lot of stress and responsebility and I love him so much for working so hard for us. But he makes me feel inadequate and like I am not important sometimes. And when it comes to decision making my opinion doesnt count. How do I talk to him about this? Hes never been like this before.I am his wife and working or not I feel like I still have a say in our lives!

 
Fairymom32

Asked by Fairymom32 at 5:24 PM on May. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (6,442 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • You absolutely should! I am a sahm, but im the one who manages the money. My dh and i talk over our expenses and other important things before making decisions. Try talking to your husband about how inadequate, how unimportant to him you feel when he acts this way. Make sure you really explain how you feel, and how important it is to be partners in your life togehter. I wish you luck.
    Jaliceawrites

    Answer by Jaliceawrites at 5:28 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • thank you Jalice!
    Fairymom32

    Comment by Fairymom32 (original poster) at 5:31 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • It sounds like he is really needing some affirmation from you or that he is really aggravated with you for some reason. If this were happening to me, I would look back over the last few months for an incident or maybe a series of incidents where he was made to feel insignificant and/or unimportant. Men will not usually tell you when they have been wounded, but they will act it out and oftentimes, they will act out the same thing that's been done to them. So, ask yourself if you have made him feel inadequate or unimportant or like his opinion about something didn't matter, and if you find something, you will have found the answer to your predicament. The thing is that if you ask him, he may not even be able to tell you when it happened or what it was, but he felt it to the point that he is responding in kind. If you must, ask him to tell you why he is so annoyed with you. His answer might be interesting.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:35 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • Say "I feel...........when you.........."

    If he argues, keep calm and repeat the statement, he can't argue about how you feel...and hopefully the guy in him will take over and he'll have theirrepresible impulse to fix it.
    Dkhilly

    Answer by Dkhilly at 5:45 PM on May. 10, 2011

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