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What to do?

Ok, a little history. Hubby's parent's play favorite's. Sad, because hubby and his little bro are in their 30's. It's obvious that hubby is NOT the favorite, and it kinda shows they hold some kinda grudge towards him. It hurts hubby, and really pisses me off. Hubby has his paperwork set up so that if we both go, the kids go to his parents. And of course, plenty of money for them to take care of the kids. BUT, I don't trust that they would take care of the kids. I feel this way because of the way they feel, how I think they feel, towards hubby. I don't trust they would treat our kids well. And it's stressing me out. I want hubby to change the paperwork. But, our only other option is my sister, who is single and is raising her grandson. I don't know how to bring this up without hurting my hubby. I know hubby is hurt by things his parents have done and said recently. Any ideas on how to broach the subject? I'm totally stressed about this. And needing some moral support.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on May. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • You could try the "Your parents need their own time... they're getting older and I don't want to put that on them" approach...

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 5:47 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • This is a conversation I would have over a week or two. First I would discuss his relationship with his parents. Get him talking and opening up about his feelings on the subject. Next I would casually bring up the problem a few days later. I might say 'if somthing happened to us how do you think your parents would celebrate Christmas for our kids?' This will open up conversation on the subject. I would do this a few times over the next week. This would also give me time to collect my thoughts and points I can make to support my opinion. Finally, after I know he's atleast acknowledged his poor family relationship and considered how it would be for them; I would just come out and say it. 'i don't think we should name your parents as godparents.' I would explain my case and points and then listen to his rebuttal. I would be willing to compromise on who we would subsequently name as godparents though. You should both agree on who

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 6:08 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • You could just say "I've been re-thinking our plans for the kids if we both die..." That should reopen the conversation and you can tell him what you are thinking and how you are feeling and suggest your sister. Good Luck

    Answer by meooma at 6:12 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • They aren't the Godparents. This is the paperwork he's got to fill out before deployment. It's always been his parents in this slot. Crap has happened recently that has changed my mind. Changed how I feel about them. Well, things have happened in the past as well, and what has happened has really solidified it. Now I think I have really changed my feelings, permanently. This sucks, it really does. He knows I'm angry, not sure he knows how much. Or that my feelings towards them have changed :(

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:00 PM on May. 10, 2011

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