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Marriage or no Marriage

Has anyone waited forever for a man to want to get married???? Did you ever bring up marriage to him and how did it go? What do you think is a good marriage time frame? (I am not putting an ultimatum or time on him either just curious how it went for everyone else)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • i think 2 years before engagement.. and 6-12 months of engagement =) but if you know then you know... i know people that have dated muchhhh less and are perfect together and others that dated for YEARS AND YEARS before getting married and got divorced soon after.. so its all in your heart... but thats my idea of a good timeframe
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 2:00 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • i think if a man is taking his time and hasn't asked yet that he doesn't want to marry. my husband knew before me that he wanted to marry me. in fact he said the first time he saw me that he felt he was going to marry me. i think it's something you know right off the bat. we have been married 8 months and we only knew each other 8 months before we married but thats the soonest we could get married. read this book " he's just not that into you" it will explain why he hasn't married you yet. i fully believe that he just doesn't see you as the one to marry and i would walk away from him and find the man that you are meant to marry before you waste more yrs of your life on him. i think one yr time frame would be good. you should know by then.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:08 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • My now hubby asked me to marry him for like 4 years before I finally agreed(first time was about 6 months in)...I would go with the whole 2 year deal but it should have been talked about prior to..does that make sense?
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 2:15 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I'm not a fan of marriage myself. I think of it as domestic servitude but that's just me. I had some negative experiences with it but for those of you who like it and want to do it, I would think between 1 - 3 yrs would allow you to get to know the person and see if you really want to spend the rest of your life with him/her.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:19 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • well my bf and i dont have the best relationship but we have been together for 4yrs and we have a 10yr age difference.i know we need to fix things before getting married but he has never asked and we dont talk about it.he tends to make the comment marriage is stupid.we have a child together also.i want to get married i have thought about if things dont change by a certain time im leaving but i have never left yet so i dont know
    alyssa1

    Answer by alyssa1 at 2:35 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • You can't compare your relationship to others as every man and woman is different and has a different timeline, past experience in a relationship, etc. There are no right timelines and just because he hasn't asked you yet does not mean he will not marry you. Just because some people have husbands that proposed within 6 months of meeting doesn't mean that all men are that way. Go by your own gut feeling and how good and strong your relationship is with him. If you can't imagine your life without him then there is a good chance he feels the same way about you.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 2:38 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • By the way, if you are marriage minded - you might put a question out there to him such as, "how do you see us in the future?" It's a gentle way of asking if he would consider marriage in the future. That is how I'm going to present it to my boyfriend after we get to our 2 year anniversary. It is a simple question that is very honest without putting pressure or an ultimatum.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 2:43 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • No, but I never wanted to be married. I believe the success of a relationship is determined by shared goals among other things. Don't shortchange yourself by settling for less than you want. If you believe marriage is the ultimate goal, then either state that and see what happens or find a like-minded individual. If you are satisfied with the relationship other than that, then what is the issue?
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:01 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • read this book " he's just not that into you" it will explain why he hasn't married you yet.

    Was just going to suggest that. By the way... I am married now. I waited until age 39. I knew my husband five months before we got married. We both knew immediately that we wanted to be married... I can't explain it.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:03 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • i met my husband the end of august, started dating the begining of september, knew i wanted tomarry him at the end of september, we decided to get married end of october, and got married the end of november. we would have gotten married sooner but he had to go away for a month. honestly im not sure that i was ever properly proposed to... but we just celebrated our second anniversary and things are great and I"m looking forward to lots more
    Crystal1124

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 3:18 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

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