Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I just wrong

I live with my SO and his three kids. I have stepped up and and for all purposes are their mom (their birth mom is rarely around at all). His oldest son (12 years old and in 7th grade) has struggled with school this year (not paying attention in class not doing or finishing assignments etc) w have asked him several times why and he always answered "I dunno" or "the teacher won't give me make up work" he only tried when report card were about to come out and somehow always got a 70 or better, progress reports are a different story. We took video game time, outside time, anything fun and still no luck. Am I wrong for wanting him to have to repeat the 7th grade? When I ask about homework I get I don't have any or I did it at school. We have something called Star Portal I can sign on and see teachers grade book, he is not doing the work till the very end then just enough to get by (this is not preparing him for LIFE).



Asked by smurfyangel at 9:22 PM on May. 10, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (4,337 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Plain and simple if he is not putting in the effort and is not making the grades then yes let him repeat the grade. Sometimes even the threat or thought of failing is enough to motivate them.

    Answer by justme782 at 9:17 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Well, if he passed, he need to force him to stay behind and miss out.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 9:27 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • I would ask if he could go to summer school.. if he passed his classes no need to hold him back. but you should talk to his teachers next year about coming up with a plan to help him succeed.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 9:30 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • No, you are not wrong for feeling that way, but I wouldnt be so quick to have him to repeat his grade. If hes already NOT trying, the last thing you want to do is add humiliation to the mix. If he does pass 7th grade, let him go on to 8th and buckle DOWN on him during the summer and next school year. Find out whats bothering him, I dont mean to be harsh, but it could be that he would rather have his birth mother doing the things that youre doing. Kids are really sensitive about these things and it sounds to me like he doesnt really feel motiviated to do better. Dont give up on him. Pray your way through this and look around online for techniques on how to motivate him and build his self-confidence and self-respect. You have to get through to him Mom, be patient and consistent. Good luck to you both.

    Answer by Mommiie_of_4 at 6:38 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • It depends. I would talk to the teachers. My daughter is 8th grade and does the same crap. However, after making her do all homework at the dining table every day, and using strict punishments like taking away the TV, cellphone and laptop, she just got her grades yesterday and it was all A's and B's.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:26 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • He probably stressed out and really misses his mom. Like another person said if he passes he passes I think it better to not punish him but be talk to him more and have a little more fun with him in his school work so he gets better grades. I can completely understand where this kids head is.

    Answer by SMITxsM2 at 9:50 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • His mom has not really been in the picture for 2 years now I really don't think its mommy issues. He is lazy (will not do chores, literally all he wants to do is eat sleep and play video games).

    Comment by smurfyangel (original poster) at 9:53 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • That my friend is called, "Typical Teen Boy".. You have to find his currency and use it to make him do what he has to do. He isn't doing anything that any other tenn boy isn't doing.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:05 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • His mom isnt there, his dad is shacking up.... how about a counselor to help the poor kid instead of getting on his case. Nice of you to pretend to be mom but dad isnt married to you so in the boys eyes you are just another temporary thing in his life. I feel horrible for the poor boy living in that chaos.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on May. 11, 2011