Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do i make this work?

I plan on breast feeding and NOT using a bottle at all...my boyfriend wants to be able to feed the baby but i dont want to use a pump or formula...

i dont want him to feel far away from the baby but if i start to use a bottle for her, i wont feel as close and as motherly...what can i do?

Answer Question
 
MissKellee

Asked by MissKellee at 2:09 PM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Pregnancy

Level 2 (3 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • talk to him so he can understand and there are plenty of was he can connect with her without feedind her. he can hold her on his chest change her diaper play with her just make him understand that breastfeeding is a healthier way to feed the baby
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • he thinks i should use a pump for when he wants to feed her..for the first few months i dont think ill want to use a bottle..i can about switching to a pump later on...you know?
    MissKellee

    Answer by MissKellee at 2:14 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • It isn't going to hurt anything to let him feed him 1 bottle a day or for you to pump 1 bottle a day. Most nursing mothers end up pumping eventually. I would try to include him, not just mothers should have that closeness
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Maybe for some of the feedings he can sit up on the bed, the you can lay back on him while you nurse. Then he can hold you while you hold the baby. It's a great way for the whole family to bond. Plus there are lots of other ways for Daddy to bond with baby, my husband loved to burp the baby after feedings and letting the baby take a nap on his chest while he watched a game.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 2:15 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • WELL YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THE FACT YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO BREASTFEED.
    LOTS OF PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS AND SOMETIMES THE BABY JUST CANT GET ENOUGH MILK SO YOU HAVE TO USE A BOTTLE TO MONITOR IT. ALSO PUMPING HELPS RELIEVE THE PAIN FROM WHEN YOUR BREASTS ARE ENGORGED, AND IF THE BABY ISNT READY TO EAT THEN THERE IS NO OTHER PLACE FOR THE MILK TO GO.
    IT IS SWEET OF HIM TO WANT TO FEED, MAYBE JUST TRY PUMPING AFTER A FEW WEEKS OF STRAIGHT BREASTFEEDING.
    TRY NOT TO BE GREEDY WITH THE BABY, ITS UNDERSTANDABLE BUT JUST TRY TO CONSIDER HIS FEELINGS. WHAT IF THE SITUATION WAS REVERSED???
    sassy_brizzy

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 2:19 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • HI. I breastfed only my first two and breast and bottle fed my youngest. I made the mistake of not making sure my husband took CARE of my kids in early infancy that made it harder for him to connect when they were a little older. Your bf can sometimes after a breastfeeding burp and cuddle and change baby - especiallly in the middle of the night so you can get some rest! Is that possible? and after a feeding in the day or early evening as soon as baby is done just happen to need a nap or a shower or time for whatever to give daddy baby time. I don't think I've heard of a mom using a pump just so dad can have baby time - there are so many other ways. Usually pumping is because of a job or illness or growth factors.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • You can always let him know that even though you will be feeding the baby, he can still be close to it. My husband would always go and get the baby for me, let me feed her, then he'd burp her. It helped him feel closer to the baby and still bond without actually feeding her.
    purvislets

    Answer by purvislets at 3:04 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • hey sassy...can u not use CAPS...i have a hard time reading messages like that...
    MissKellee

    Answer by MissKellee at 3:24 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • There are plenty of other ways your SO can bond with the baby besides feeding. I would do whatever you are most comfortable with as far as feeding goes. Whatever is going to keep you breastfeeding as long as possible is best for the baby. It is especially important to breastfeed exclusively in the first month. The bottle can cause confusion with the baby, and introducing formula can sabotage your supply.

    Someone mentioned pumping to relieve engorgement--I disagree with this. Pumping will only make more milk come in which equals more engorgement! It's not fun, but just try to live with the engorgement and feed on demand until the baby's demand evens out your supply. My girls rarely got bottles from their Dad, and they have a very strong bond. I would revisit the idea of pumping after the first month or so and see how you feel then. Good luck!
    LaurLaur623

    Answer by LaurLaur623 at 4:24 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Pregnancy
When was the peak?

Next question overall (Holidays)
Christmas and presents?

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN