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how do i break up?

I havent been in love with my child's father for a long time.I try to force myself but i cant. The sex is horrible.I have been with him for 4 yrs and i have gotten NO orgasm.AT ALL..I only have sex with him to shut him up.I got with him because i had low self esteem and he was the first person who asked.Im supposed to be going over to stay the weekend with him and bring the baby but i seriously rather be in the hospital than deal with him.Im with him so he can see his kid and i dont like hurting peoples feelings.But it hurts me to be with him.He thinks im the one but i dont have the heart to tell him otherwise.How do you break up with someone who does everything for you but no matter how you try your not in love with them?Id rather be shot than be with him.Its that bad

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • being shot sucks I hear so this must be bad. Only you can fix this. You are hurting him more by lying to him (by omission). tell him how you feel. It's honest. Don't be deceitful to him. That's just wrong. You give him false hope by not telling him the truth. You will feel better once you take control of your own life and be honest with him. Just write it if you can't say it but you are being really unfair to him. You are cheating him and you out of finding the right person bc you are letting him think all is well with the two of you. Fix this and soon so you both can find happiness.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:28 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • im in a similar relationship as you maybe.i cant get myself to leave.i am a sahm we have been together 5yrs this next june and have a almost 4yr old daughter.i got prego after knowing him almost is good but everything else is pretty sucky.u want to know more add and message

    Answer by alyssa1 at 2:29 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Hey hun that's a tough position to be in. My advice is to talk to him about how you feel, maybe a "break" or talking to a couple's councilor maybe? If it's just "done" and you don't think anything will bring back any love or feelings, then just tell him straight out, and make it clear he can see his child whenever he wants. The best is try not to put him down. His feelings are obviously going to be hurt, but don't add insult to injury. You can do it, I know how hard it is to hurt people's feelings, but you need to think about you too! You and your feelings are way more important. Hope that helped. good luck

    Answer by Lizamafers at 2:47 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • You're going to have to change your perspective. Is it fair that you pretend to be part of a relationship physically that you are not in emotionally? You say you worry about hurting others, but doing that is hurtful to someone - it's lying. Your feelings matter to and no one is going to put your feelings above theirs. You are not a martyr. You are a person who deserves to be happy and who does not have to suffer for an error in judgement... So many people enter relationships that are not right for them and are afraid to get out. You can stay and suffer the rest of your life to spare his feelings. Or you can apologize sincerely for your error and he will hurt for a time, but he'll get over it. I'm sure anyone prefers to be with someone who loves them equally... you are doing him a favor.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:53 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • i agree you should tell him and let him go on with the rest of his life. especially if your so adamant that you can't find love for him anywhere in your heart.

    Answer by melody77 at 3:26 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

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