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2 Bumps

Was he just trying to look good or truly being nice?

My hubby has a friend 10 yrs his senior who he met as a kid cuz they gave him drugs...the "friendship" (though I think of them as drug buddies more than friends and have told DH as much). Before my hubby quit (friend did too, to copy DH, then relalpsed several times). This is a guy I cant stand for several reasons....

1)he had his kids taken away by CPS due to the drugs and wife did things she was supposed to (but put up with hubby's crap and chose him over her kids so I dont respect her) but he never did-cant respect that.

2)when DH was in rehab for a month, drug buddy and wife racked up an electric bill over $300 and stuck DH with it-saying they didn't 'feel they owed it'. They had gotten evicted and stayed with hubby before he and I moved in together. We needed that money cuz I was pregnant and trying to get stuff for our baby.

3)When DH and I moved into a place together, we borrowed $500 from drug buddy and wife, paid it back in $50 increments and supposedly they "forgave" $150 of it...during this time said "friends" became homeless again, camped out in our house a few times, so we gave them rides MANY times, did favors GALORE and they took EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY to throw in our face the money they forgave. We get a call one day and drug buddy thinks DH is gonna answer...he gets moi and asks for the $150 back and I remind him about the electric bill they stuck us with when he threatens taking us to court. They called back and apologized but I think it was b/c if they didn't they knew they'd be laughed out of court, have lost a friend PLUS no more hotel room in our house.

4)dude refuses to work, got a job DH put a word in him for (best job in town at the time save for a degree too) so whats his thanks? Telling them to "call someone else in" while sitting on our couch whining about how poor and broke they are.

5)made a constant habit of coming by unannounced, knocking and opening the door without waiting for m to come to it even AFTER we asked him to stop... and expecting us to drop our plans for the day-and it was always ME that had to deal with jerks I cant stand in my house...and play hostess on a moments notice.

6)he's lied about me, my family and to my knowledge hasn't acted like a friend and we never have really gotten along....so my question is because on Mother's day he calls to tell me "Happy Mother's Day!" DH was outside smoking when he called and gives me a look like "haha, see what a wonderful friend he is and how evil you are?" cuz I didn't call them and wish HER a Happy Mother's day? sounds to me like he was just trying to look good and make me look bad....and get brownie points with hubby...thoughts?

Answer Question
 
purplerobin

Asked by purplerobin at 1:42 AM on May. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (6,416 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I'm sure he did it to be nice, but as they say, a man is nothing if not what he does. The best intentions are meaningless if he isn't able to get his life together and keep his bad choices from effecting you and your family.
    kidnappedbylove

    Answer by kidnappedbylove at 1:44 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • I have a suspicous nature, so I think that at some point he will probably "remind" you he was trying to be nice by calling u up and wish u happy mothers day. AS for the money he forgave, the $150, I think he wanted it to score another high. I do know this, I applaud u for being patient with these morons(or at least bitting your tongue) and your dh is lucky to have u as his wife and the mother of his children.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 2:19 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • Thanks! I think he was clean at the time of the $150...he wanted it back cuz they were "homeless and desperate" and he was counting on DH answering the phone instead of me and he knew I'd just remind him of the money we were screwed out of so he tried playing hardball and it backfired. The reason I'm suspicious that he was just "trying to be nice" is we've never gotten along and he's only nice when DH is around-otherwise he snubs me.
    purplerobin

    Comment by purplerobin (original poster) at 3:40 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • Throw them on the curb they are not worth you or your husbands time.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:54 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • reading this the guy sounds lik a irresponisble sp ass, and it does sound lik he did it just to look good with ur dh...also lik u said he proubly said it to see if u would return the jester, but hey i don't blame you for not doing it, i wouldn't have either.
    libas.mommy

    Answer by libas.mommy at 4:12 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • You have no problems telling this man no, but I think your DH needs to figure it out.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:25 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • Given the history, he probably did it just to look good. That's just my opinion, though.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:06 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • Wow this guys sounds kjust like my brother. I've learned to just walk away and learn from my mistakes they will keep using you for money and places to stay when they need you but never be there totally when you do.
    kittylover333

    Answer by kittylover333 at 9:48 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • Not cool
    rinamomof2

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 9:58 AM on May. 11, 2011

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