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Anyone else think this is out of order?

I was very unwell yesterday, I had a 24 hour tummy bug, I was literally vomiting from 3.30 a.m until 5.30 p.m, so DH took the day off work to look after the baby because obviously I couldn't. When DH phoned in work to explain what was happening, he got no sympathy, his boss actually said he was 'dissapointed' and said things like :'This is no way to run a business, I expected better.' I'm so mad about this! Last time DH took time off work was after I had our baby, and he was off for two weeks after, 2 days after I gave birth his boss was phoning asking him to go in because there was so much work to do, and because DH said NO (I was having trouble feeding so had to stay in hospital) his boss gave the same speech, saying that he felt 'let down'. I'm sooo mad about this! Why on earth should he be made to feel guilty about taking care of me and our baby? His boss literally drops anything if something happens to his grandchildren, so I think he should be a little more understanding. Anyone agree? Or is this the way bosses are supposed to be now?


Asked by kylie_bob at 7:26 AM on May. 11, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 22 (14,066 Credits)
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Answers (21)
  • It is tough if it's a very small business, but no doubt there are laws even in such cases for sick time and family sick care. If the company does have 50+ employees (even if they're not all in one place), then he could get in trouble with the FMLA, because under that law, taking care of your child or wife is the same as taking care of yourself. As it should be.

    It sounds like it's not a very family-friendly place to work, and if you plan to be human and occasionally get sick or have school special events down the road, and you don't have anyone else nearby to take care of you, you might want to consider looking for new jobs for him. Husbands were once expected to never go to sports/school stuff or help with sick care, but yours sounds like he wants to.

    Answer by Tracys2 at 8:19 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • As a business owner, I can understand how there would be disappointment from the boss, however, to verbalize it and to make anyone feel guilty for being a parent and doing what they need to do is ridiculous. I could fully understand if DH was taking off work all the time, unfortunately with the way the economy is (and any other time whether it's good or bad) it is hard to find a good job, even a stable job and employers want employees who are going to be there and do their job... It's not only about that one person, it's about all the others who have to pick up the slack when one misses. The boss could have handled it better. My heart goes out to you, my hubby would lose his job if he called off for me being sick so I can see it both ways.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 7:47 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • Sounds like his boss is a jerk.

    Answer by ncmomma3152 at 7:28 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • hugsI think the boss is way out of order. So sorry your hubby has to be put through that crap to take care of you guys.


    Answer by smurfyangel at 7:29 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • I agree! I think maybe it's time for him to look for a new job. He's either going to let your husband go because he misses work for his sick family or he's going to make it to where he is going to hate his job. There will be times where he is going to have to take off again because someone is sick but he shouldn't make your husband feel bad for that. You aren't wrong for being angry.

    Answer by alyssamal at 7:30 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • I agree but some employers are this way.
    My friend is an assistant manager at a Walmart he had to lecture and write up a man who had the flu then gave it to his wife. He called out while she was sick so tha he could care for their 18 month old. The man was told if he called out for someone else's illmness again he would be fired. Childcare was not a valid excuse to miss work.
    Being a mother I told my friend it was one more reason why I avoid Walmart, they treat their employees badly. My friend, who is not a parent, defended the store. He said that the mother should 'suck it up' and care for her child. Yeah right, when this friend is sick he doesn't move from his bed.

    Answer by Octobersmom at 7:36 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • That was an inappropriate response from his boss. The level of commitment that he's expecting of your husband is that of a business partner. Unless he's in the process of doing that, he needs to be the boss and step in the take care of things when your husband is incapable of being there. Not everyone has other family to rely on for support with our kids.

    Answer by Nonoluna at 7:37 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • I think the boss handled it poorly, but was thinking perhaps your hubby works at a small business or a business with shift workers? I know where I work when someone calls in another person has to be called in on their day off.. and NO, there is no overtime so it's not compensated. Being a boss I can understand the disappointment because he is seeing a trend develop and is probably worried it's going to become a pattern. Although you are sick and uncomfortable it is hard for a boss to give sick days for your hubby, your child and You.. he is only paying your husband for his time.. make sense? You may want to look and see if you have sick care in your area to offset these rare occasions if the job is not one that can be replaced with a more flex schedule.

    Answer by Camilletnt at 7:54 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • Yea he sounds like a jerk! My boss is a jerk too. He doesn't have any children, so he has no idea...

    Answer by kyheavensmom at 8:10 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • Wow, sorry for my typos! I was half asleep and getting my daughter ready for school between typing.

    Answer by Octobersmom at 8:35 AM on May. 11, 2011

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