Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I need to grow up.

I'm 29 years old and I think I'm a good mother and person, BUT I realize that I have a problem being confident in myself to make my own desicions sometimes. How can I become more confident in myself to be able to make big decisions?!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on May. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Just make one & do it. You'll be worried about it the entire time but if you simply dont do it just make the plung then you'll always dance around it. You have to do it once, then twice, then three times. Sometimes things will pan out your way while other times they wont. There isnt any way to ease someone into it really so you just have to do it jump ahead get it done & do it & not only one time but over & over & over again. Thats what I had to do was finally just do it & whatever happened keep plugging along afterwards.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 10:48 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • I wouldn't consider that a maturity thing. People of every age feel that way.

    Practice listening to your gut. If you have to make a choice & can't decide & your gut isn't helping, write down all the pros & cons on a piece of paper. Sometimes seeing the pros & cons can make us decide much easier.

    I can be a wishy washy person. I have a hard time deciding too (my rising sign is a Libra...I'm always weighing my options). maybe it sometimes comes from insecurity, but mostly it's because i just have a hard time deciding.

    What types of big decisions are you having trouble with? I think most people can say that it's hard to make big life changing decisions in their life...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:49 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • I don't think that has to do with you needing to "grow up". I think you just have trouble making a finally decision on things. I do to. I have to sit down and weigh out the pros and cons. That normally helps me gain confidence in my decision.

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 10:56 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • You become confident by MAKING the decisions. As amber says, weigh out pros and cons. DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

    As you make good decisions, you will become more confident. And even when you make bad decisions (and you will... we all do) ytou will become wiser and will make fewer of them.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:27 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • Making decisions makes you more confident. Start making them.

    Answer by meooma at 11:54 AM on May. 11, 2011

  • I am not as old as you are yet, but I struggled with that same problem for many years. I was raised in a home where my decisions were made for me, and when I did finally leave, I moved right into my boyfriend's (now my husband) sister's house and she was almost as controlling as my parents. I looked to my husband to make all the decisions about anything that needed to be done or anybody wanted to do. You cannot expect yourself to jump up and start making big decisions. It won't happen, I promise, but do like I did. Start with small decisions, a little bigger than the day to day ones you already make, and then work your way up from there, until you feel comfortable at that level when you do, keep 'leveling up' on the size of the decision, until one day you will be making big decisions. :) It will make you feel so much better as a woman and as a mom and as an adult! I will pray for God's guidance for you.

    Answer by AndreaW2kids at 2:55 PM on May. 11, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.