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I don't know what to make of this?

My sibling passed away and so my family came down for the funeral which is really rare that we ever get together, the only one who could afford the funeral was my father...anyway he would tell my other sibling and I how much it cost and this and that and indirectly looked for us to pay him back? So I did send him money...I don't know! If it was me and that happened to one of my children I don't think I would ask my other children to help pay for this and talk about the cost. He is well off so money is not an issue...its just really f*ckin weird to me!

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • i agree with you anon

    Answer by wendy232425 at 3:41 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • He is doing what a Father should do. Taking care of his child even in death. I am so very very sorry for your loss. ((Hugs)) I would not offer any money at this point unless he directly asks for help or you just happen to have the money available.


    Answer by Southerncharmes at 3:41 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • don't make assumptions... maybe he was talking about the funeral arrangements so much to distract himself - to find a way to cope with losing a child...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:43 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • sounds like ur dad is being greedy thats sad.

    Answer by momavanessa at 3:44 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Unfortunately I doubt it figaro, because he talked about how he had to go an open a new liine of credit before coming down here and how much debt he's going to have after this is all over! ugh, it was gross to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I would've asked if he needed money to help with the expenses. I paid 1/3 of uncles funeral, and for 1/2 of a cousins funeral (well I loaned the money for that half but didn't get paid back so I'm calling it a gift now to make myself not mad at my aunt). They're expensive, that's a fact. Maybe in his weird way he was letting you all have an idea of how much they cost so you might be inclined to pre-arrange (is a great idea and leaves the person left behind without the burdon of coming up with money and having to make decisions in a time of crisis).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:46 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Well I did say before he really started to complain??-I guess that's how I would describe it, before he really started to and he would keep saying no no no. But it was like one of those oh you shouldn't have no I can't accept, but the person doesn't mean it...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • If you gave what you could afford, then you did all you could do and it was more than should've been asked of you.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:52 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Well, sorry hon, but that sounds just crass and awful. How could he worry about money at a time like that? When this happened in my family, we were all so crushed by my brother's death, my father just paid whatever the cost was. Our family is no where close to well off. To this day I don't know what the cost was.

    Answer by evilabbysmom at 3:56 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I agree it is kind of weird. When my Mutter (grandmother) passed away, she had money for that in her will, so none of her kids would have to pay. My aunts and uncle DID though send a bill to my Dad to pay $15 dollars for flowers. I thought it was ridiculous since my dad offered and they said no, then billed him through the mail.

    Answer by Lizamafers at 4:06 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

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