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why is adoption viewed so negatively?

i placed a child for adoption three years ago and have never regretted my decision, that's not to say i didn't love my child, don't get me wrong. I just know she's better off now, i was young and couldn't offer a child all the things she needs.
my experience was just wonderful. the family was so grateful and i've never felt more wonderful about doing something in my whole life. my question is, how could something that creates a family and makes your own child happy be bad? why is it viewed so negatively?

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kierrasmoma

Asked by kierrasmoma at 3:53 PM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • im all for adoptions now abortions im against i believe if you dont want the baby for whatever reasons then give it to someone who does im not putting you down for it i give you kuddos for that
    wendy232425

    Answer by wendy232425 at 3:54 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • First off, im positive surprise and impressed that you dont post as anonymous.

    Now to your question. I think adoption is a great thing. So many couples cant have kids and their only way of having children is an adoption. I dont know how much it must hurt to give your own child away. I couldnt imagine and i dont want to try to imagine it. because i would suffer from only thinking of it. But you did it because you wanted to do the best for your child, thats very great and smart of course.

    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 4:01 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • But I also think, why dont women think about their finances ect earlier?! Why dont they use protection when they know they wont be able to provide for a child. Not sure how to put it. But i think its not fair (for the child) when a woman has unprotected sex, gets pregnant and THEN realizes "oh shit. i cant afford it. lets give it up for adoption". I know its probably not that easy to make this decision. But why not thinking about consequenzes of sex before?

    No, i dont judge you. please dont get me wrong. Those are just things i dont understand. I always wondered about those things. I think you did the right thing by giving your child up for adoption.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 4:01 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Who views it as negative? I've never encountered anyone that did. I'm so happy that you are content with your choice. You made another family immensely happy. :)
    StarLee

    Answer by StarLee at 4:05 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • some woman cant handle bc i wasnt able to or they cant afford it and not all men will wear condoms
    wendy232425

    Answer by wendy232425 at 4:05 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Well. I wouldnt have sex with a man if doesnt wan to wear a condom. BC pill is also a method.

    But that belongs not here right now. This woman here did the right thing for her daughter, no matter what anybody else thinks. Thats why i also said, that i dont judge her. i only judge one thing: to have unprotected sex if you are not able to take care of the "consequenzes". But the decision of giving a child up for adoption must be one of the worse things in the world a woman has to make. She must be very strong.

    Are actually in contact with the family who adopted your daughter?
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 4:11 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • i agree m.robertson811 i believe she did the right thing
    wendy232425

    Answer by wendy232425 at 4:18 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I don't think it's viewed negatively... I and everyone I can think of think it's a very good and selfless thing to do!
    sfwilson

    Answer by sfwilson at 4:21 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I don't personally know anyone who views adoption negatively. I think it's a wonderful option!
    purvislets

    Answer by purvislets at 4:25 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • i do still talk to the family. they send me pictures and letters, and i'm allowed to see my baby. i chose not to though, i didn't want to confuse her by being in her life so early. her parents and i decided that if she wants to know about me, she can meet me. i send her letters and gifts on birthdays and Christmases. i really think it's a great situation. i now have another child and feel so blessed.
    m.robertson811: i didn't give up my child for finances etc. i did it b/c her father wouldn't have been around. sometimes women get pregnant even if they didn't want to have sex in the first place. so don't be so quick to judge people that get pregnant and can't handle it. i'm not saying anything nasty, i'm just saying, maybe there's a side of that story you're not viewing. thank you for saying i made the right decision, i certainly think so as well.
    kierrasmoma

    Answer by kierrasmoma at 5:31 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

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