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I am sad it seems like we have been wanting to adopt forever. If you are also planning on adopting privately how do you find your little angel

I have kept my chin up for so long. My husband and I want to adopt. We have a good stable life and we have a lot of love and room to share. I don't want to go through an agency because, I don't like how they push girls and are aren't personal. Well we have been hoping to adopt for two years now. I am beginning to get really down and it feels like we might not ever find the little angel we are suppose to give a good life too. If you were planning to adopt privately how would you suggest finding your right match? Thank you everyone for any help you can give. If you are anti adoption I do respect your opinion but, please don't bash me. I happen to feel adoption can be a beautiful thing if it is done for the right reasons.

Love,
Michelle

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hopingforanange

Asked by hopingforanange at 4:08 PM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (31)
  • You are in a tough situation. I honestly don't know where you could even begin looking. I know there are plenty of pregnant women out there that do not want their child but I do not know how you could go about finding them. I hope the best of luck to you and Im sorry I was of no help. Keep your head up and your angle will find you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • i dont know what to do but i wanted to let you know you will find your little angel when the time is right and i am glad that people like you and your husband are willing to adopt a little child who needs a loving home
    wendy232425

    Answer by wendy232425 at 4:13 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Do you have a lawyer involved? A profile available with the lawyer? If so, then all you can do is wait for an expectant mother to want to interview you.

    Avoid any agency or law firm that wants you to do "aggresive networking" (they want you to put your info out into the public, at high schools, colleges, daycares, hospitals, crisis pregnancy centers, etc). Places that want you to network that aggressively will attempt to obtain a baby at all costs (often tricking the mother into signing).

    randi1978

    Answer by randi1978 at 4:20 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • yes we have an adoption lawyer and all. We are not going with any kind of agency. That is part of the reason ( not all ) but, a big part of why I intend to adopt privately. We want to adopt to help a child. We don't want to force anyone into giving up their child if they don't want too. We want to help a child if we were to get the child in those ways we wouldn't be helping the child. That is something that would way too heavy on my heart and not something I would ever do. That is one of the biggest reasons it has been two years and we are still hoping and praying. I know there are so many children out there that really need families. I am hoping to give one of these children a home with unconditional love. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

    Love,
    Michelle
    hopingforanange

    Answer by hopingforanange at 4:35 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Are you hard set on an infant? The system is overfull with older kids. Children over age 3 get adopted far less often. Children over the age of 8 even less. Children over the age of 13..almost never. Would you be willing to take an older child now while you wait for a baby? Have you looked into the foster care system. LOts and lots of kids there ready for adoption now. Good Luck.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:37 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I told everyone I knew that we were wanting to adopt. I asked my OB/GYN to please put me on her list of patients that couldn't have kids and wanted to adopt. That's how we got our first daughter, through my dr. and one of her other patients. Our other daughter was through foster care, and she came to us at 6 days old. If you don't want to go through and agency, you kind of have to do the networking on your own. Let all your doctors know, if you go to church, let them know (I have friends that have adopted through church networking), if you are involved in any clubs, gyms, etc. let them know.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 5:55 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • It's all about getting yourself out there and making sure everyone you know, knows that you are wanting to adopt. You never know who might know someone that is having a baby and wants to do adoption. (Networking sounds bad, just don't know what other term to use. It's not like networking an agency does, it's more like just making sure you have made everyone aware that you are wanting to adopt.)
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 5:55 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Forgot to add, we contacted some highly recommened adoption lawyers and they put us on there list of PAPs also. Some Bmoms would rather do private adoption than go through an agency, so they contact adoption lawyers instead.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 5:56 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I have been in the adoption world for 4 years now. We have never had a networking situation that has worked out.
    There are agencies that are out there that are ethical and don't push.
    I disagree that domestic infant adoptions are about finding a home for a baby who needs it. A foster care adoption is about helping a child find a home. DIA is about people becoming parents.
    luckyshamrock

    Answer by luckyshamrock at 9:13 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • "I know there are plenty of pregnant women out there that do not want their child but I do not know how you could go about finding them."

    If there were plenty of pregnant women who did not want their children, the competition for newborns would not be so fierce, nor would agencies,facilitators and attorneys feel compelled to use heavy duty high pressure tactics on pregnant women as they currently do. Women are finally learning about the long-term consequences of relinquishment for both themselves and possibly their children and fewer women than ever are willing to relinquish. Domestic newborn adoptions ARE more about making lots of money for facilitators, etc. AND finding babies for paps....sad but true.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 2:41 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

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