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2 Bumps

My daughter is 19 and has yet to go out on a date except for the 2 proms in high school which were both with "just friends". It is starting to bother her as she feels she is missing out but seems to be awkward and lacks confidence around boys. She is cute, athletic, smart and a good kid all around. How can I get her to be more confident with boys?

Answer Question
 
momvoit

Asked by momvoit at 1:20 PM on May. 11, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • You can't. I was the same way and eventually found a man.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 1:22 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Don't push this, be glad that she isn't a boy crazy idiot. Maybe she's waiting for the right person. Why is this so important to you?

    Bugzmomma

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 1:23 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Maybe she needs to be more confident with herself and she will know when is ready to move on.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:29 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • don't read in to it - I am glad she is not boy crazy, neither was I. She already has three kids from her high school class pregnant and one friend she lost because she was so wrapped up in their boyfriend. I have tried to reassure her about it and encouraged her to be more open and friendly in general to gain friends. It is more of a self esteem issue and I am probably looking for some stories of how other kids learned to feel better about themselves.
    momvoit

    Comment by momvoit (original poster) at 1:29 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Im with the others on this. I have an 18 yr old dd too who hasnt dated much. She is very involved with her youth group at church though, and that has helped her a lot. I wanted to add that I dated some real jerks and the lessons I learned where horrible. Things that hurt me worse then if I had waited for the right man to come along. Maybe if she gets into new circles, bowling league, dancing lessons. Just something a little different, she will meet new people and develop friendships. More important to me then dating itself, is developing friendships with people. good luck. she sounds like a great dd!
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 1:30 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Be confident in herself and her decisions! My first boyfriend was AFTER I graduated high school. I never dated a lot, sometimes wanted to, but it just didn't happen. Anyway, I now have an absolutely wonderful husband!! It took a while, but it was well worth the wait. :) Stay focused on other things and don't worry about having a man. That will come in time. THere is SO much else to be involved in, help with, work, do, play, etc. Having a guy takes up a lot of time. :) So being single is a great time to do all the stuff she dreams about!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 1:30 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • pinkdragon - I agree with you here
    momvoit

    Comment by momvoit (original poster) at 1:30 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • I didn't date at all in high school. I wasn't interested in any of the guys there (having known them since kindergarten), and, emotionally, I wasn't ready for a relationship. I think my mom was quietly concerned about me in the same way that you are concerned about your daughter. Fear not. =) When I went to college, I had a boyfriend for several years, and then then a second boyfriend who is now my husband.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 9:18 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • She'll come around.
    feliciouss626

    Answer by feliciouss626 at 9:42 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I was the same way until I met someone who helped me come out of my shell and made me feel good to be me....she probabl needs to find that someone who will help her in that way sopmetimes it's not so easy to feel that way on your own...if she is happy in general dont worry about...if she isnt then express your concern with out being pushy and maybe suggest activities she can get involved in to meet guys on a friendship level first.
    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 12:03 PM on May. 13, 2011

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