Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

This cannot be happening!??!...can it?

i have been on the outs with my mother in law pretty much since i've been married. she has been critical of me and she always subtly implies something rude through an always seemingly sweet disposition and tone and after 3 years yesterday i had it and i was calling to confront her. long story short we both ended up apologizing for things that may have been taken the wrong way and we were confident, at the end of the conversation, that we could move on from everything with a clean slate.

i told her at the end of the converstation pretty much the most important thing to me is that she understand that this our life and we're are gonna live it how we want to(not like that but pretty close maybe nicer) and i told her that i would feel better and like she wasn't trying to run our lives if i knew that she had accepted that we might not live in this state for the rest of our lives(the same one as her and only 15 minutes away from her) she told me that it breaks her heart and she doesn't think she could give me her full blessing to which i said well yeah it breaks my parent's hearts too(they also live in the same state but an hour away) but they've accepted it and understand that we want to live our lives and don't wanna hold us back.

TODAY i get a phone call from her and she tells me that she had an episode this morning that she drank some mcdonald's coffee(caffeinated) and that her heart started to flutter and she felt like she was gonna pass out a couple times and she was barely able to call 911. and she told me that she's in the hospital, she's stable and feeling okay...well enough to make a phone call to me...yeah...and then she told me that she has times when she's not okay. it goes in and out.

this might be heartless but honestly i wouldn't put it past her to try and get her way. she has NEVER NEVER NEVER ever had heart issues. and then i tell her yesterday that we might not live here anymore and she tells me that it's heartbreaking and then the very next morning she ends up in the hospital?? with a "heart flutter" anybody seem as suspicious as me? it's an awfully great coincidence.

???? what should i do? my husband has an illness that is stress induced and if this isn't real, then there's no need to upset him and stress him out. he is going through his last clinical for school right now and desprately needs to make it through and graduate. should i tell him what happened? she is "stable" apparently. but i don't see this as serious and neither does my dad? i need some feedback please. i am not gonna let this woman manipulate us like this if that's what she is doing!

Answer Question
 
pmg1030

Asked by pmg1030 at 3:40 PM on May. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,514 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I think your going to have to tell hubby...if you don't, won't she just tell him? He is her son..she'll tell him.
    Just tell your husband what you've said here..you had a heart to heart talk with her yesturday and what you think she is trying to do to manipulate the situation.
    Good Luck..sounds like a "fun" mil,lol.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:45 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • His clinical, as in medical school of some sorts?? If so, tell him, let him look at her chart, and her issues and let him determine if this is real, or some sort of stunt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Go visit her in the hospital with some flowers and see for yourself. And IF she is, it'll be like the whole "kill em with kindness" thing. Sounds like she's a drama queen though. Honestly you've gone well above and beyond what I would've done, I don't need MIL permission to move.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 3:47 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • he's doing clinicals for physical therapy
    pmg1030

    Comment by pmg1030 (original poster) at 3:47 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • I agree about going to the hospital and finding out for yourself. I would also explain to her about how this "episode" will put stress on your DH and ask if she feels that it is a serious enough issue to worry him. You should express how concerned you are with her condition but you are worried how it will effect DH. I also have a DH with a condition that worsens with stress and we have cut down on alot of the family stuff due to the stress of the family dynamics. Good luck! Regardless of her episode, if I were you, I would still continue on with my plans to move. (Unless the doctor says she only has so long to live) But just because she had this episode (real or not) would be no reason to change your plans.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 4:00 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • The heart flutter was probably from the caffeine. I had that happen and felt stupid once the ER doctor told me. She's a drama queen to call you and scare you like that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • she has drama but there's alot more to this story....Its understandable for her not to want her child to move away from her and especially if she's not married and doesn't have an outside life. Key word "understandable" not acceptable but I can understand why she feels the need to act the way she does....whatever decision you make in regards to telling your dh about his mother being in the hospital, make sure you weigh all the options first before making a decision....
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:55 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • She is being manipulative, though it may not be a conscious effort. Tread carefully honey, I'm sure she's not ready to cut the cord yet. If you don't give your husband your side of the story than he's going to hear it from her. Your choice.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 7:27 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • i called back to check up on her apparently she said she could have died yesterday morning(but she was able to hold two very articulate conversations with me and even got smart with me) but she has told us almost every single time my brother in law has been in the hospital that she thought he was going to die. she treats everything with health like a life and death situation whether it is or not and in my opinion atrial flutter brought on from drinking strong coffee...is not as big a deal as she is making it out to be. i am keeping up with her and i told her that i would leave it it up to her to decide whether it was serious enough to tell dh and worry him to the point of him getting sick again and not being able to make it through this clinical either.

    my dh tells me all the time "you can tell me these kinds of things, it stresses me out" so i am just following what he said. in this situation i feel i need to protect him.
    pmg1030

    Comment by pmg1030 (original poster) at 5:28 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • sorry that's "you CAN'T tell me these kinds of things"
    pmg1030

    Comment by pmg1030 (original poster) at 5:29 PM on May. 12, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN